Make up your mind
by lilyyuri
Summary: The war is over and the Light side had won. Now Harry and his friends go back to their 8th year in Hogwarts to complete their schooling. Harry just wants to have a normal and peaceful year, but apparently nothing is ever normal where he's concerned.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Anything you may have read somewhere else belongs to someone else.

 **Summary:** Harry and his friends go back to their 8th year in Hogwarts. Harry just wants to have a normal and peaceful year, but apparently nothing ever is where he's concerned.

 **Author's note:** Two very important things:

Remus, Severus, Tonks, Fred and Dobby are alive and kicking.

I know technically the story is supposed to be set in 1998, the thing is- that was so long ago! I can't even remember what I was doing at the time! And I definitely don't remember what songs, movies and TV shows were popular back then. Therefore, I've moved the whole story to current time, mainly for the cultural references.

This story is un-beta'd. All grammar and vocabulary mistakes are mine alone.

 **MAKE UP YOUR MIND**

 **Chapter One**

Harry looked at the ruined castle looming above him. The wreckage was pretty bad, entire walls were torn down in the epic battle that took place here not even hours ago. His school, his sanctuary, the only place that ever felt like a home to him was smoldering and crumbling, but he couldn't even summon the strength to cry. His whole body ached, his face and clothes were caked with dried blood and mud and the fingers of his right hand were holding his wand so tightly he wasn't sure he'd be able to pry them open. But none of it mattered anymore- he won! He finally did what he was meant to do, what the prophecy predicted, what Dumbledore had been grooming him for all these years. He had faced Lord Voldemort and had come out victorious! Finally, the threat had been vanquished and now everyone could finally start to heal.

"Harry!" Harry lifted his head slowly; every movement was sending shock waves through his entire system, to see Hermione running towards him, alongside Seamus and Neville. Harry blinked at them, an overwhelming wave of relief washing over him seeing them alive and sporting all four limbs that his body finally gave up the struggle to stay upright and he collapsed slowly to the ground. For the first time in his life Harry welcomed the blackness, the silence.

When he opened his eyes again Harry found himself lying in a bed, he was warm and comfortable and his body didn't ache as much as it did before. Putting his glasses on he took stock of his whereabouts and realized he wasn't in his four poster bed in the Gryffindor tower, nor the crisp white sheets of the Hospital wing. The sheets _were_ white and crisp but the room was small and private. Slowly piecing things together Harry decided that the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts must have been destroyed during the battle and he was laying in St. Mungo's Hospital. He couldn't even tell how long he's been sleeping or what day it was but it didn't matter, because the war ended and hopefully everyone survived. Harry felt a soft smile tugging at his lips, it was really over.

The door to his room opened and in stepped a smiling healer, her green robes swishing softly around her as she moved. She reached Harry's bed and pulled out her wand, running it over Harry's prone body, casting one diagnostic spell after another in quick succession,

"Well, Mr. Potter," She said brightly, once she had a look at the results, "It's good to see you up and about. My name is Healer Matthews and I'm here to answer any questions you may have." Harry looked at her and opened his mouth a couple of times- he was still rather confused and disoriented and his mind had gone completely blank at the healer's briskness,

"W-What happened?" He finally managed to croak, feeling for the first time how dry his throat was. The healer walked to the bedside table and poured him a glass of water before she pulled a chair and sat down by his side,

"Do you remember the battle?" She asked gently and Harry nodded slowly sipping his water, Healer Matthews smiled wide, "Well, after the battle you collapsed and was brought here, to St. Mungo's. You were covered with bruises and minor injuries, but mostly suffering from stress induced exhaustion so we sedated you for 48 hours to allow your body and your magic to recuperate." Harry nodded again, feeling the relief washing over him- at least he didn't suffer a coma for Merlin knows how long and missed everything that's been going on.

"When can I leave?" He asked, not that he minded staying here so much, the bed was comfortable and the place was quiet but he did miss his friends and the sooner he got out of here the sooner he could find out what happened to them. Healer Matthews placed her hand softly on Harry's,

"We would like to keep you here for a few more days, Harry. You've been through quite a lot and we don't want you to rush back out before we can fully assess your condition." Harry deflated a little at hearing that, great; this was Madame Pomfrey all over again- keeping him in the Hospital Wing way too long 'for his own safety'… "Plus, there is the whole issue of the press," The Healer continued and Harry looked up sharply,

"What sort of issue with the press?" He asked, dread forming in the pit of his stomach, he hated the press! What could they possibly want from him now?

"They all want your picture, and interviews," Healer Matthews shrugged, she'd been talking to Mrs. and Mr. Weasley and they specifically asked that Harry be kept away from the press until he decided he was ready to face them, stressing how much Harry loathed them, so she wasn't about to throw her charge in the line of fire before he was completely ready, "They've been camping outside the hospital for the last couple of days trying to get information about you." Harry gulped at that, damn it, that was the one thing he absolutely didn't need right now!

"I-I can't face them…" He cried, feeling the panic rising inside. Healer Matthews squeezed his hand reassuringly,

"Of course not! You don't have to do anything you're not feeling comfortable with, which is why it is best you stay here and recuperate in your own pace." Harry relaxed, smiling feebly, "Now, I suggest you give me a list of people you do want to see, because there are a lot of fans out there and we'd rather you don't get bombarded by them." Harry nodded, relieved. Healer Matthews patted his hand once more and rose to her feet. "Well, I'll leave you for now, are you feeling up to seeing anyone? I have Ms. Granger and Mrs. and Mr. Weasley who wants to see you."

"Yes, of course, thank you." Harry smiled earnestly. He liked the list idea a lot. He can chose who he wanted to see and not have to deal with the actual outside world for a while. The thought of going out there and having all those people he didn't know fawn over him was making him feel nauseated. It was like back when he first learned he was a wizard- when Hagrid had first taken him to Diagon Alley and everyone wanted to shake his hand. Even seven years living in the magical world hadn't managed to cure his aversion to strangers taking liberties with his hero status, and now that he's actually killed Lord Voldemort and won the war he had a very bad feeling things will only get worse.

"Harry!" Harry was pulled from his slow-building panic attack just in time to see Molly Weasley flinging herself at him. He returned her hug enthusiastically, feeling a whole lot better at once; Molly Weasley gave the best hugs. Molly pulled back and grabbed his face to take a good look at him, and Harry smiled at her, so glad to see she was alright. "You're looking well."

"I'm getting there. How are you?" Molly beamed at him, causing warmth to spread through Harry's entire body- he was so glad to see her smiling and well, and so happy that she still cared about him.

"We're all doing fine. Bill and George are in here too, recuperating, but nothing life threatening." Arthur piped from behind his wife's back, patting Harry's shoulder with fatherly love, as Molly was still busy looking at Harry and beaming, which frankly was starting to make him feel a little uncomfortable. Luckily Hermione chose that moment to lean over and steal a hug from him, forcing Molly to move further down the bed.

"I was so worried after you collapsed," She confessed breathlessly, looking like she was about to cry, "It's so good to see you." Harry pulled her back into a bone crushing hug,

"You too! I'm so glad you're OK." He murmured into her bushy hair. After everything they've been through in the last year, their friendship only became stronger and Harry knew that if something had happened to Hermione he'd be completely broken.

"I've brought you books!" Hermione chirped happily once Harry finally released her, "Don't worry, it's not text books," She assured Harry when he opened his mouth to protest, "It's mostly muggle fiction to help you overcome the inevitable boredom of staying in the hospital." She said as she pulled a small package from her pocket and enlarged it to reveal a stack of at least a dozen books of various sizes. She placed them all on Harry's bedside table neatly before turning to her best friend again, "Listen, I really had to see you before I go, I had to make sure you were alright."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to Australia to bring my parents back," Hermione said with a happy smile, "I'll probably be gone most of the summer but I promise we'll meet on the train back to school, OK?" Harry tried to smile bravely, and nodded. He was happy that Hermione was getting her parents back, but a little selfish part of him was disappointed that she wasn't going to be around to talk to for the rest of the summer.

"As a matter of fact, we better get moving, your portkey leaves in about 40 minutes." Arthur said apologetically. He'd much rather let the two have all the time they wanted but the healers refused to wake Harry or let them in before they did, so that left precious little time and there was no way he was going to let one of his adoptive children go to the International Portkey Station by themselves.

"Harry dear, we'll see you tomorrow." Molly said as Harry hugged Hermione goodbye. She patted his leg reassuringly and Harry nodded. Molly managed to sneak in a small forehead kiss before Arthur ushered the two women out of the room. Harry leaned back as the door closed with a soft smile on his face. After a little while he looked to his bedside table and pulled a random book from the pile.

The next couple of days were rather uneventful for Harry. He mostly slept, his body still recovering from the effects of the war, but he did manage to get out of his bed, aided by a medi-witch to go to the toilet and have a long hot shower. He was still apprehensive about leaving the sanctuary of his room, but Healer Matthews assured him it was all natural and asked him not to force it. He did brave a small tour in the hall the next morning, appreciating very much the fact that most of the hospital staff was far too busy running around to stand and stare at him. Molly and Arthur returned the next day, and the day after, joking about making rounds in the hospital for all their sick children, and how they should ask the healers to put them all in the same room to save them running around. Harry was so happy to be included in the family ordeal he was almost in tears by the time the Weasleys left.

By the third day Harry was beginning to feel uneasy- he gave his healer the list of people who could visit him, but so far aside from Hermione saying goodbye he only saw Molly and Arthur. He wondered what Ron was doing and why he wasn't here to see him. Sure, their relationship had suffered some hard blows during the war but Harry was starting to feel quite disappointed that Ron didn't show up even once. Ginny too, she was his girlfriend, damn it, if anything, she should have been camping by his bedside! He tried to ask Molly and Arthur if everything was OK but they got such guilty looks on their faces anytime he mentioned Ron or Ginny's names that Harry eventually stopped asking. Maybe they just didn't like the hospital, some people were like that and anyway, he was bound to see them once he was out of here since Molly made it very clear he was coming home with them. They were probably doing their own version of recuperating from the war and Harry was certainly in no position to deny them that.

"So that's where they're hiding you!" Harry looked up from the book he was trying to read and a wide smile bloomed on his face, as he watched Seamus, Neville and Dean piling into his room. Seamus was the first to reach him and he grabbed Harry in a big hug, Harry returned the hug happily, "Is this one of those backless gowns?" Seamus asked as he tried to look over Harry's shoulder down his back. Harry rolled his eyes as he pushed the laughing Irishman away from him, punching his arm playfully. Seamus gave him a cheeky grin in return.

"Can you get out of here?" Dean asked after the round of hugs was complete. Harry's eyes widened, he wasn't ready to go anywhere yet! His face was losing color fast, and his breathing became labored, causing his three friends to exchange alarmed looks, "Oh, no no no no, not outside, just like, the roof or something." Dean said quickly and Harry relaxed a little, a trip to the roof might be nice actually, the four walls of his room were starting to get depressing to be honest. The four left the room and started their search for the way to the roof. It took some time and quite a few wrong turns but eventually they managed to get there. The roof of the hospital was huge, and completely empty- magical folk didn't need a helicopter pad or any other muggle inventions so the boys had plenty of room to choose for their sitting. They conjured up some comfortable chairs and sat around, enjoying the afternoon summer sun. Harry leaned back, turning his face up to feel the sun and soft wind on his face for the first time since the battle. He could hear the traffic in the street below, and the soft voices of his friends and just marveled on how everything was so… normal. Smiling softly he opened his eyes to see Dean lighting a thin, hand rolled cigarette and frowned,

"Since when do you smoke?" He asked the dark skinned young man whose eyes were closed in bliss as he exhaled the smoke from his lungs, filling the air around them with a very distinctive smell, "Is that marijuana?" Harry asked aghast, looking around him frantically, as if expecting the entire staff of the hospital to come rushing through the door accompanied by Aurors to take them all to Azkaban.

"Harry, relax, it's OK." Neville said as he took the joint from Dean and took a hearty drag from it, before passing it to Seamus.

"Since when do you guys smoke pot? You know it's illegal!" The three Gryffindors exchanged a look, they've already been through this with Hermione, and they really didn't need Harry to kill their buzz as well.

"Here, just try it; it'll make you make feel good, I promise." Seamus said with a soft smile as he offered Harry the joint. Harry looked from one earnest face to the other and bit his lip. It was just weed, right? And everyone knew you couldn't get high from one hit, right? "Think of it that way, it's much healthier than all the crap they pump you with at the hospital," Seamus said as he took another drag from the joint before passing it back to Dean- there was no point in wasting a perfectly good smoke while they waited for Harry's moral stands to erode.

"Yeah, it's all herbal and natural," Said Neville happily, "And so good!" Harry looked at his friend in complete shock. He might expect something like that from Seamus and Dean but Neville? Neville was just too… wholesome for this kind of thing!

"Fine!" He grumbled, because it wasn't fair that he'll be the only one not having fun, plus, if Neville could smoke marijuana so could he! "Give it over!" Neville handed Harry the joint with a wide smile and Harry wanted to roll his eyes, talk about caving into peer pressure. He took a deep drag from the joint and started coughing almost immediately, he could feel his lungs burning and his eyes were starting to water- this was not fun!

"Easy there." Seamus said as he moved to take the joint from Harry's hand and started rubbing soothing circles on his back with his other hand. Slowly Harry managed to control his coughing fit and breathe normally again. He could still feel Seamus' hand on his back, now resting warmly in the center of his back. It felt good. He was never big on casual touches, he never really knew how to do it without looking like he tried too hard but he liked being touched, he knew it stemmed from his unloved and untouched childhood but right now it didn't matter, he was just enjoying the warmth and comfortable pressure on his back. Plus the air around him was now thick with the weed smoke and combined with what he did manage to inhale his head was starting to feel light and his limbs comfortably heavy.

"Hey guys, guess what!" Neville suddenly piped up, "I spoke to Professor Sprout and she said I could bring some marijuana samples to grow in Hogwarts as my final project!" Dean, who was just taking the last drag of the joint and nearly burning his fingers at the process, started spluttering with laughter,

"Fuck, Nev, I can't believe you actually asked her!" Neville nodded happily, looking very pleased with himself while Dean and Seamus were high five-ing each other and grinning like mad. Harry looked from one friend to another scandalized,

"How the hell did you manage to convince her to let you grow weed in school?" Neville waved his hand in dismissal,

"Magical folk don't know what the hell weed is or what wonderful things it does!" He explained happily, " _I_ didn't know it existed until those two pot-heads showed me."

"And you are ever so welcome." Seamus said generously, bowing his head at Neville,

"Witches and wizards think everything can be solved with potions," Dean said, his tone clearly suggesting he thought it was a daft idea, "But now that the war is over people actually start to listen to what muggle-born and half-bloods have to say. If we're lucky we might manage at least one crop before the school catches on." Harry looked from one smiling face to another before he burst out laughing. Things are sure going to be interesting come September.

The four sat on for a while longer, filling Harry in on all the latest gossip. It felt good to be out in the open air, feeling normal again. He couldn't remember the last time he just sat and laughed without worrying about what might come and what diabolical plan the Dark Lord will come up with next. They stayed up on the roof of the hospital for nearly two hours until a dark cloud settled right above them and a sudden summer shower chased them inside. Harry was still feeling light headed when he got back to his room but he couldn't really tell if it was from the marijuana or being in the sun too long, either way it was not something he wanted his healer to find out so he drank three glasses of water before he went to sleep.

The next day he got quite a surprise in the shape of Ginny Weasley, waltzing into his room looking like she was headed to a fancy party rather than visiting her boyfriend. She fawned over Harry a little, which was nice, but kept looking at her watch the entire time, which wasn't so nice, until she got up from his bed about five minutes after arriving and announced she had an interview at the WWN to get to. She gave Harry a kiss and left before he even had a chance to protest.

Later that afternoon George and Bill came to say goodbye after they received their release papers from the hospital accompanied by Fred. Harry was truly happy to see them; the twins were always a welcome breath of fresh air. He looked critically at Bill, whose face was still scared from his encounter with Fenrir Greyback- the scars did nothing to diminish Bill's looks in Harry's eyes, in fact, they were quite sexy. With a slight blush he averted his eyes and forced himself to stop thinking of his girlfriend's brother as hot. George was growing his hair long to hide the absence of his right ear but he promised Harry that he and Fred were working to replace the missing ear with something "way cool". Harry smiled wide at the twins, but behind their backs he caught Bill's eye roll and had to bite his lip to stop from laughing.

Tuesday found Harry on the roof again, this time sitting comfortably on a deck chair under a big parasol and reading a book. Now that the entire Weasley clan was at home Molly and Arthur had less time to come and see him, so their visit this morning was rather brief, but Harry still deeply appreciated them coming over. He was also very grateful to the hospital staff for not kicking him out already. Physically he was completely healed and Harry Potter or not, he was still taking up a bed. Healer Matthews came to see him nearly every day and talk to him about what he might expect outside the hospital protective walls. Harry appreciated she took the time to coach him but every time they talked about the outside world it made him feel on the brink of a panic attack. Even the thought of going to stay with the Weasleys at the Burrow was making him nauseated- too many people, not enough space. He confessed to his healer he thought he was developing both Agoraphobia and Claustrophobia but she only laughed and assured him he was going to be alright, he just needed time to adjust.

"I knew I'd find you here!" Harry looked up sharply to see Seamus making his way from the roof door towards him. Smiling broadly Harry folded his legs so that Seamus could sit on the end of his deck chair.

"Did you bring anymore of the devil's herb?" Harry asked in a playful tone. Seamus rolled his eyes, those couple of months Harry and Hermione spent alone were rubbing off on his friend a lot more than Harry will ever admit to himself. Seamus sure had his work cut out for him to bring Harry back from Hermione's evil, pedagogic, un-fun… claws!

"Nope, I brought something better- the devil himself!" He announced happily and looked at the door as if he staged a grand entrance for his mystery guest. It took Harry a couple of seconds to realize who Seamus was talking about,

"Malfoy?" Harry asked suspiciously and Seamus nodded. Harry looked around them, as if expecting Draco Malfoy to pop out of thin air, "Where is he?"

"He's downstairs, trying to pull a cute medi-wizard." Seamus shrugged and tried to look scandalized while Harry was hollering with laughter. From what Seamus has been telling him, Draco had decided to embrace his sexual orientation to the full and probably give his father a heart attack in the process, and embarked on a none-stop hooking party for the summer. A small part of Harry was hurt that Draco didn't stop for his sake, but most of him was far more curious to know why Draco bloody Malfoy came to see him in the first place. Sure they saved each other's lives during the war, and technically they buried the hatchet but their relationship, which was always based on mutual loathing and disrespect couldn't have changed so drastically so fast. "He said he had something to tell you, if he ever bothers to show his face, the ungrateful whore." Seamus shrugged; nobody ever promised him that being Draco Malfoy's friend was going to be easy. "So… When are they finally letting you out of here?"

"I don't know…" Harry answered, suddenly feeling uneasy. It wasn't that the healers were keeping him here because he was unfit; it was because he was scared of getting out. "I guess in a day or two…" Bloody hell, even saying that was making him feel lightheaded with fear! "What about you? Have you been here the whole time?" He asked in a rather desperate attempt to change the subject. Seamus rolled his eyes and let out a dismissive snort,

"I wish! My parents hardly let me out of their sight!" He complained loudly, but the soft smile on his face told Harry he wasn't as upset about the whole thing as he wanted people to think. "I finally managed to convince them that nothing bad will happen if I spent one night at Draco's place. At first they wanted to come with me! Can you believe that? But thankfully I talked them out of that one… so now I 'only' have to text them every two hours to let them know I'm OK."

"That's tragic…" Harry intoned flatly, damn that was so unfair! He'd give anything to have overbearing parents!

"I know!" Seamus cried happily. Truth was, he loved being home for the summer, and really, his parents weren't so bad after all, they did let him come over once or twice for a day trip, which they were paying for so it wasn't like he had much right to complain. He cast a sidelong look at Harry, seeing his expression turning a little sour and bit his lip, damn it! He shouldn't have mentioned parents! Poor Harry, the end of the war must have opened quite a lot of old wounds for him, now that everyone was home safe and he was stuck here in the hospital. Sure, the Weasleys already claimed him but it wasn't the same. Before Seamus could come up with a quick subject change into something less painful the door to the roof banged open and out strutted Draco Malfoy, looking impeccably neat and suave.

"Hello boys." He called out, flashing a million galleons smile at Harry, who looked rather suspicious at Draco's behavior,

"Oh, the slag is finally here." Seamus said, his tone clearly indicating he wasn't impressed, "Got a hot date for tonight?"

"Why would I want that?" Draco asked, looking truly puzzled, "We just hooked in the linen closet. Besides, he's not _that_ cute." Seamus brought his fist to his mouth and coughed what sounded a lot like 'slag!'. Draco gave him the two fingers salute. "So… Potter." He said, and Harry flashed him a tight smile, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to hear what Draco had to tell him, but none the less he was glad Seamus was there if things went south, which- given their track record was actually quite probable. Draco gave the hero a long look, "You look… alive."

"Thank you, you too." From the corner of his eye Harry could see Seamus rolling his eyes; he was clearly not impressed with any of this.

"Come on Drake, tell him, we haven't got all day!"

"Don't push me!" Draco snapped at his friend and got another eye roll. Taking a deep breath he turned to Harry again, "OK, here goes. Potter, I'm sorry and thank you." For a long moment Harry was too shocked to react- did he hear correctly? Did Draco 'I hate you so much I'm going to invent a whole new word to describe just how much' Malfoy just said sorry to him? And thank you?

"W-what for?" This was so surreal his mind went completely blank and he couldn't even think of a reason for Draco to apologize, which was saying a lot…

"I'm sorry for my father and thank you for saving my life." Draco said primly. To be honest he was quite enjoying Harry's discomfort. It was the first time in his life that he actually decided to be the bigger man and it felt good, but not as good as seeing Potter squirming like a fish out of the water trying to find words.

"Um, yeah, sure…" Harry stammered, trying to get his bearings, "And same back at you. I mean, I _am_ sorry for your father, he's a really shitty person, and thank you for saving my life." The two ex-nemeses watched each other for a long moment, both at lost as to what to say next. Draco pulled himself together first and rubbed his hands briskly,

"Well, that was fun, come on Shey, we better get a move on, we've got loads to do today." Seamus rose from his seat and hugged Harry goodbye, whispering an apology for the abrupt departure and the two left the roof. Harry leaned back in his chair, still trying to make sense of what just happened.

Wednesday morning marked the end of the first week of Harry's stay in the hospital. He knew full well that his time here was coming to an end and that his healer was bound to come along at any moment to tell him he would be discharged soon. A part of him wanted to get out of the hospital, go and explore his new freedom before the beginning of the school year, but a bigger part of him was still petrified at the idea of going out there and facing the world on his own. In a way, going to the Weasleys was a blessing, it'll give him time to get accustomed to people again- because so far, he's been getting his visitors in small, manageable portions, but that couldn't last forever, not if he intended to rejoin the world of the living and finish his schooling at Hogwarts. And Harry had absolutely no intention on passing over the opportunity to actually enjoy his last school year.

And so, when Healer Matthews finally showed up and uttered the words "We'll be releasing you later today." Harry could actually manage a cordial nod and thanked her for her care. He spent his last day in the hospital pretty much as he had those before, reading on the roof, or at least attempting to. After lunch he went to his room to wait for Molly and Arthur to come and pick him up. Sitting alone in his room Harry tried his best not to succumb to the panic that was clawing at his gut- getting out of the hospital didn't only mean having to face the Weasleys, the Weasleys were easy, they actually cared about him, the problem was facing everyone else. Though he didn't get any papers while in St. Mungo's his Healer did her best to ease him into the knowledge of what was happening out there.

Apparently the hero worship was now completely out of control, everyone wanted a piece of the Golden Boy who won the war. Reporters were camping by the hospital doors from the second Harry was brought there. The hospital management even had to bring in extra security in the form of Aurors after two reporters tried to sneak in dressed as medi-staff. Since Harry flat out refused to have anything to do with the press, the papers started hunting the other war heroes. While Ginny couldn't get enough of the attention and pretty much accepted any and all interviews she was offered others were less thrilled. Seamus and Hermione were of course exempt from this new brand of torture simply by being out of the county but Neville, Dean and even Draco had a much harder time avoiding the press. Fred and George Weasley, for example, dealt with the annoying pests in their own original way and put a series of jinxes and booby traps all around their shop in case reporters tried to sneak in. So far they got one reporter who ended up covered from head to toe in orange and green rash and another with shocking pink hair and a pair of house-elf ears. Even Molly and Arthur were forced to increase the strength of the wards around their home.

A soft knock on the door pulled Harry from his miserable thoughts. After taking a deep cleansing breath he called out for the visitors to come in. Instead of Molly and Arthur, which he expected to come and collect him, Remus' smiling face appeared around the door. The werewolf walked into the room, looking pretty worn out but happy nonetheless and immediately wrapped Harry in a bear hug. Harry melted into the hug, there were so few people who truly gave good hugs and he was so glad Remus was one of them, it was like a little safe haven of warmth. He was still absorbing all the goodness of the hug when he heard Tonks' cheery voice,

"Wocher Harry!" Harry lifted his head and let out a small yelp of fright at seeing Tonks' choice of hair for the day- it was green, but not just any green, it was killing curse green and it stood out in a spiky halo around her head making it look like her head was exploding.

"Your hair is very… interesting…" He commented feebly. Next to him Remus, who still had an arm around Harry's shoulders sighed deeply and shook his head sadly,

"I told her it was too much…" Tonks pulled a face at the two men standing before her,

"It's to commemorate Harry's victory!" She intoned loudly, and rolled her eyes- she really didn't need to defend her hair choices to a couple of… hair… idiots!

"It clashes with your complexion!" Remus retorted with a smirk. Harry tried to hide his smile; those two were just too much.

"Oh, would you rather I have it like this?" Tonks asked triumphantly before she closed her eyes, concentrating and turned her hair to look exactly like Remus'- color and style. By now Harry had lost the fight with his laughter and was giggling like mad. Remus narrowed his eyes at the sassy Auror and crossed his arms over his chest,

"You know, you're so not as funny as you think you are!" Tonks beamed at him while Harry was practically howling with laughter. It felt so good to know that things were returning to normal and that Remus and Tonks hadn't lost their sense of humor.

"Guys, stop it, you're going to make me pull something." He complained loudly once he managed to get his laughter under control. Remus and Tonks exchanged a winning smile between them- it was good to see Harry laughing. It took hardly any time to collect Harry's stuff as he was brought to the hospital with nothing but the clothes on his back- his trunk and most of his clothes were already taken to the Burrow.

"Are you ready Harry?" Tonks asked with a cheerful smile and Harry swallowed hard, a determined expression on his face. He nodded once, his jaw tight. Remus and Tonks exchanged a look and Remus walked over and wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder,

"Harry, it'll be alright, I promise." He said quietly, "And you just remember, if things get bad you can always come and stay with us." Harry's healer had pulled them aside before they got into Harry's room to explain his condition and asked them to monitor the boy in case of trouble. The three of them went down to the main lobby to use the fireplace and floo to the Weasley home. Luckily there weren't many people present at the time and most of them were staff that smiled and wished Harry good luck. Upon landing in the 'Burrow's kitchen Harry was immediately wrapped in one of Molly's bear hugs. She was chatting a mile a minute trying to explain to Harry where all her children had gone to. As it turned out the only ones coming to dinner were Percy, Remus and Tonks, which suited Harry just fine. Ron was staying over at his girlfriend's, Lavender, while Bill had gone to the International Portkey Station to pick up his wife, Fleur. The twins decided to take Charlie for a fun night in town before he left to go back to Romania the following afternoon and Ginny had a girls' night out in London. Harry was pretty bummed about that- after all the least Ginny could do, after visiting him one measly time in the hospital was to show up when he was released.

After dinner everyone seemed to disperse so Harry went up to his assigned room, which used to be Charlie's and closed the door. So far things were going rather well, he thought. No anxiety or stress at all. Quickly changing into his pajamas he crawled into bed with his book. He managed about two pages before his eyelids started drooping and he slowly succumbed to sleep.

 **~~o0o o0o o0o~~**

 **A/N:**

I think I mentioned it, once or twice, that I didn't read "Deathly hallows", I did see the films but I really can't remember anything from them... therefore most of the references to what happened in Harry's seventh year/Final battle are snippets that I do remember and stuff that suited my story. Please don't try and catch me with inaccuracies, it'll be too easy.

It's been quite a while since I've written anything and I know I'm a little rusty, so please bear with me. For the first time ever I actually have most of the story down! Which means I can do regular updates! Hooray!

Please let me know what you think.

Love, Lils'.


	2. Chapter 2

**MAKE UP YOUR MIND**

 **Chapter Two**

When Harry opened his eyes it took him a couple of seconds to remember where he was. Carefully he rose from the bed and started making his way to the door. Twisting the knob and opening the door, he was immediately assaulted by the loud noise only the Burrow full of people could produce. Harry quickly closed the door and leaned his forehead against it, grateful to whoever had the foresight to put a silencing charm on his room. He turned and slowly slid to the floor and gathered his knees to his chest- he loved the Weasleys, he honestly did but he wasn't at all sure he was ready for this. He took a couple of calming deep breaths, knowing that he had to get down there some time and there really was no point in delaying the inevitable. Besides, how the hell did he plan to attend his final year in Hogwarts if he couldn't even handle one breakfast with the Weasleys?

It would be OK, everything would be alright, Harry tried to convince himself as hard as he could. He was free, there was no more Dark Lord and no more prophecy hanging over his head and he was free to live just like any normal teenager would- he had his friends, he was going back to Hogwarts to finish his schooling, he had a girlfriend for Merlin's sake! He was bloody normal!

With that in mind Harry rose to his feet and faced the door again. It was a simple matter of turning the knob and opening the door. Well, that was step one, the easy part. Step two was going to face the world outside his room. The Weasleys were the least of his problems- everyone who really bothered to get to know him knew he hated publicity and the last thing he needed right now was hero worship, but Harry knew he couldn't hide in The Burrow forever and expect the world to forget about him. It was a nice thought though.

As soon as he set foot in the kitchen Harry was assaulted by loud greetings, hugs and friendly slaps on the back. It seemed that the Weasleys preferred method of celebrating the end of the war was here, at home, together, and loudly, enforcing Harry's suspicion that last night absences were Molly's doing. Harry tried to smile while battling a panic attack- he wasn't used to so many of them, usually it was only the twins, Ron and Ginny. In fact he couldn't remember ever having all seven of them together, plus Bill's wife, Fleur. After the initial round of hugs most of the boys went to the fireplace to get on with their day- and Harry realized he'd been quite late for breakfast, while Molly practically forced Harry into a nearby chair.

"Harry, sweetie, how are you? Are you hungry? You're so skinny. Sit down; I'll make you something to eat." Molly said, all in one breath and didn't even wait for an answer. Harry tried to protest feebly but he knew it was futile, so he obediently sat at the table and smiled at his adoptive mother. Fred and George Weasley, who lingered behind for just this opportunity, took chairs on either side of Harry's.

"Well, well, if it isn't the hero in the flesh!" Said Fred gaily, nearly blinding Harry with his smile,

"How about a few words for your adoring fans?" George asked from his other side and when Harry turned his head he was met with a wooden spoon thrust at him like a microphone. Harry's first reaction was slight panic, but it was soon squashed in favor of giggles- these were Fred and George Weasley after all.

"Boys!" Molly cried sharply, waving her own wooden spoon at her twin sons, "You two leave poor Harry be and off you go!" Fred and George immediately wore their 'we're completely innocent, mum' faces on, though it no longer had the desired effect on their mother,

"We're just prepping him for what's to come!" George insisted,

"Yeah, those vultures from the press are not going to be as nice." Harry smiled softly; it was nice of the twins to think of him, even if they mostly wanted to annoy their mother. Before Molly could give them a piece of her mind in the matter Ginny waltzed into the kitchen, dressed to nines and looking like she was ready to take the town by storm.

"Harry!" She cried when she spotted her boyfriend sitting at the table. Sauntering towards him she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, mindful not to ruin her hair or makeup. Her brothers gave her identical glares of revulsion and promptly left the kitchen. "I'm so glad you're finally awake, sweetie."

"You look good." Harry stated and Ginny beamed at him, turning her head so that Harry would get the full effect of her look. Before Harry could open his mouth to say anything else Ginny jumped to her feet in a hurry,

"Shoot, I have to dash darling; I'm giving an interview in ten. I'll see you later, yeah?" Harry had just enough time to give her half a nod before she was gone. He caught Molly's less than approving glare at her daughter's back before the Weasley matriarch turned back to the pot she was stirring. Harry looked down at his sandwich, he could do this, he really could.

That resolution lasted less than a week. By the fifth day under the Weasley roof Harry was just about ready to grab his wand and hex the lot of them. The constant noise was getting to him in ways he never thought would, and the lack of privacy! It was impossible to find more than three minutes of solitude before someone found him, even the bathroom wasn't safe! Actually, the bathroom was probably the least private place in the house because even when he went there to pee he couldn't get more than a minute's peace before someone knocked on the door demanding their turn. The house was packed with people day and night, and though he really missed her, Harry was glad at least Hermione wasn't there to add to the numbers. She did send him a muggle letter from Australia, complete with pictures of her and her parents traveling throughout the southern continent. Harry had to admit he was dead jealous of her, it was so tempting to just leave this wretched island and go someplace where no one heard of him or cared who he was.

To add insult to injury, his and Ron's relationship never seemed to get back to normal. Ron was still resenting him for reasons Harry didn't even know and Ron refused to divulge. Harry was so tired of playing the guilt game with Ron that he simply didn't bother anymore and that, of course, resulted in more resentment from Ron. So after five days of living in the Burrow and having to suffer Ron's passive-aggressive attitude, Molly's overbearing cuddling and Ginny's huger for fame Harry has had enough.

He contemplated going to Grimauld Place and spend the rest of his summer there, but the mere thought was making him sad, living all alone in that dreadful house with no one to talk to but Kreacher, hell it was so depressing Harry seriously preferred to take a wand on his own person than move there.

His salvation came two days later in a form of a letter from Remus Lupin, asking if Harry wanted to come and spend a few days with him and Tonks. It was true Remus had told him he was welcome any time but Harry didn't want to impose himself on Remus and Tonks, but since he got an official invite, Harry saw no reason to decline. He was so relieved and elated that he packed all his belongings in less than five minutes and rushed downstairs to the fireplace. It was only Molly's quick instincts that made her rush from the kitchen and catch Harry for a quick hug goodbye. The Weasley matriarch had tears in her eyes that made Harry feel guilty for leaving like that but she smiled in understanding and sent him away with an encouraging hug and a box of cookies.

Life with Remus and Tonks was as different as could be from living with the Weasleys. first of all, there were only two other people in the house, and most of the time they were out- Tonks, being an Auror had her hands full with the after-war clean up of rogue Death Eaters and Remus was busy doing all sorts of things, most of which Harry didn't even know about. The house they lived in was a small cottage, but it was bright and airy and very well lit and it made Harry feel safe. He spent most of his days either in the living room reading through the massive library, or outside in the garden, bringing new life to the neglected vegetable patch.

He discovered that while the Dursley's did their best to squash any sense of fun from any chore they set him he actually enjoyed gardening. It was not only the hard labour that was making him happy, the feel that his muscles were being worked to their fullest but also the fact that he could see the change in the garden almost daily and it was making him so happy to know it was him who was responsible for it. The first head of lettuce he cropped made him so damn proud he was pretty sure he was going to burst with it, and he couldn't stop smiling throughout lunch as they ate it.

Without even realizing it his birthday was creeping up. Harry was pretty sure he wouldn't have remembered it at all if it wasn't for Remus and Tonks showing up one afternoon in his room looking determined,

"Harry, we've been thinking and we were wondering…" Remus began in his soft, calming voice, knowing Harry was not going to like what he had to say but prattling bravely forward nonetheless, "Perhaps it would be a good idea to head out to town, just to get a few things!" He finished hurriedly when he caught the expression on Harry's face.

"What sort of things?" Harry asked slowly, he knew they were not talking grocery shopping, there really was no point in dragging him along for that, and it was way too early to get his school stuff- plus Remus said he'd take care of that, as he was going back to teach in Hogwarts and would need to stock up himself. But he could still feel the age old panic rising, something he hasn't felt since he moved here.

"Well, your birthday is coming up and frankly, we feel it's about bloody time you got a new wardrobe." Tonks said bluntly, leaning against the wall with a bored expression, "You're turning 18 and you're dead fit, there's no point in dressing like a homeless man!" Harry felt his cheeks warming up, he wasn't sure it was from Tonks' compliment or the fact that she was right and his wardrobe hasn't really changed since he was eleven. Though truth be told, he was finally starting to fill up Dudley's old cast offs.

"Tonks!" Remus hissed, "We said we were going to be diplomatic about it!" Tonks rolled her eyes,

"Diplomatic is boring, we need to shock him into action otherwise we'd never leave the house." She hissed back and this time it was Harry's turn to roll his eyes,

"You guys are so subtle," He intoned gravely, "I almost couldn't tell you were talking about me." He got an exasperated sigh from Remus and a bright laugh from Tonks for that. Taking a deep breath Harry decided there was nothing for it. Hiding was not an option anymore. Besides, he was a bloody Gryffindor! He was known for his bravery, and now after everything he went through, he shouldn't be the one hiding! Licking his lips and taking a deep breath he tried to smile bravely at the two, "Alright, let's go!" That earned him a big whoop from Tonks who promptly grabbed his arm, and started dragging him to the door.

The three apparated from the living room and landed in a small alleyway which led to one of London's biggest shopping malls. Harry tried to calm himself with deep breaths, as he walked bravely forward. So far no one seemed to know who he was, in fact, no one seemed to notice they even existed, which in itself was a little disconcerting because you'd expect people to at least see the three of them stepping out of an unused alley doing their best to look casual. Harry followed Tonks as she practically skipped her way towards the nearest menswear shop. He suddenly felt Remus' hand resting on his shoulder, squeezing lightly and Harry felt his body relaxing almost against his will.

The three of them entered the shop and Tonks immediately dragged them over to where the jeans were. Harry looked at the display and felt the overwhelming urge to sit down and cry- how the hell did people buy clothes? There were just so many to chose from, how the hell did he know if he liked low waist jeans, or skinny ones? He never shopped for clothes in his life! The only thing he ever shopped for was school robes, but that was easy, there wasn't much of a choice in the matter, but now... Now he had virtually the whole world spread at the tips of his fingers and he had absolutely no idea what he wanted or needed.

Luckily for him, Remus and Tonks easily took over and spread out to pull all sorts of jeans from the display and fling them at poor Harry, who was just standing in the middle with a growing pile of trousers in his hands and with no clear idea of what to do with them. Eventually it was Tonks who took pity of the poor guy and ushered him towards the nearest changing stall.

For the next hour or so Harry was forced the try on different clothes, jeans, cargo pants, dress pants, T-shirts, dress shirts, vests and anything Tonks and Remus found remotely usable, and a few things Harry sincerely hoped they were joking about. At some point Harry seemed to have lost all sense of what was going on around him and just entered into a robotic sort of mood and didn't even protest anymore about what he was brought to try on. Eventually the torture came to an end and Tonks presented him with a huge pile of clothes that were chosen as his new wardrobe. To be honest, Harry was pretty shocked- he didn't know people could own so many clothes, no, he didn't know why people _needed_ to own so many clothes!

He was very touched that Tonks and Remus wanted to pay for that huge pile of fabric but he couldn't really let them do that for him. After all, he did have more money than the two of them combined. After an argument that lasted no less than ten minutes they finally agreed to split the check. When they finally left the shop, each of them was carrying no less than five bags, they each went to the toilet discreetly to shrink them. Harry was more than ready to head back home and take a long hot shower and go to bed, this had been exhausting! Tonks and Remus were looking like a couple of kids in a sweets factory, practically skipping around and talking enthusiastically about their purchases and Harry wondered if he'd have to stage a tantrum so that they could finally go home, especially when he heard the word 'shoes' being mentioned.

Before he managed to say anything a high pitched scream sounded to his right, Harry whipped his head around, his hand going to his wand immediately, to try and locate the source of the noise, but was instantly surrounded by a hoard of screaming people who seemed to have popped out of nowhere. Harry's hand dropped from his wand and his whole body froze. Tonks and Remus, who were walking ahead turned to find their charge in the middle of sea of shiny eyed, smiling, loud fan-girls and fan-boys. They exchanged a quick look before Tonks jumped into the melee, flashing her Auror badge at the assembled fans, trying to keep them at least a foot away from Harry. Remus also pushed his way into the tight circle who was growing by the second, both by new fans joining and curious passers-by who wanted to know what the mayhem was all about. He grabbed Harry's shoulder and peered down the teen's face. Harry's skin was so white it was almost grey, his eyes were glassy and his breathing was shallow, while his entire body was frozen up. Remus cursed under his breath, shit! This was exactly what Harry feared the most, and it was his, Remus' job to make sure something like this didn't happen. He hugged Harry more firmly and managed to catch Tonks and whisper to her where he was taking Harry. Just as he closed his eyes and concentrated on his destination he felt Harry's body going limp in his arms.

Harry was floating back to consciousness, he knew he was lying down in bed, and by the fact that everything was quiet around him he guessed he no longer was at that hellish mall, but still he didn't want to open his eyes. Opening his eyes meant he'd have to admit to himself and everyone that he failed. He couldn't possibly survive in the outside world like this. He couldn't bloody well attend Hogwarts this way, not if he froze up and fainted like a fucking possum every time someone came too close to him. Harry sighed softly when the realization hit, he was going to have to relocate to Grimauld Place, and spend the rest of his life alone. He could vividly picture it, roaming the empty halls, with only a bitter and racist house elf and an even more bitter and a much more racist portrait to talk to. Maybe he should just kill himself and then come back as a ghost, at least then he'd have a proper excuse for the roaming. He could get chains, and rattle them around, that could be fun, or maybe some...

"Harry." Harry shook his head, refusing to open his eyes and acknowledge the outside world. No, he was just going to stay like this, immersed in his misery and everyone else can just fuck the hell off! "Harry!" The voice was more persistent this time and eventually Harry had no choice but to open his eyes and turn his head to look at Healer Matthews, who was sitting next to his bed. "Harry, what happened?"

Harry turned his head away from her, letting the air out of his lungs. What the hell happened back there? He didn't know if he could find the right words and he really hated to hash up the incident, not only was it one of the single most humiliating things to happen to him, but it was also his weakest moment and he hated himself for that. Slowly he rose from the pristine white bed, and walked to the window. He stood there, looking out at the magnificent view of green pastors and beautiful meadows- of course it was a charmed window, nothing as boring as brick buildings and smog for the magical folk.

"Harry." His healer said again, her voice gentle. She didn't want to pressure her charge into saying anything but at the same time, she needed answers, she needed to figure out how to go from here and the only one who could provide her with those answers was the young man by the window. "Please tell me what happened."

"People," Harry whispered as he pressed his forehead to the cool glass, "So many people..."

"What did those people want?" She asked, her voice still gentle. Harry didn't even turn his head, but he could hear the quick-quote quill scratching near the healer.

"To touch me." He answered simply,

"And how did it make you feel?" Harry frowned, not sure how to put the exact feeling of bone deep fear into words,

"I don't know, scared... overwhelmed..." He said softly, knowing he was not giving his healer much to work with but all he really wanted was to be left alone to wallow in his misery and stop answering questions he didn't want to answer and talk about things he didn't want to talk about.

"Why was that?"

"It's him!" Harry said gruffly, spitting the word out with venom, "They want him, not me, they want to worship _him_!" The healer looked up puzzled, Harry's face were contorted in a grimace of hate, but his words made no sense,

"Who exactly?" Harry turned around and fixed her with a glare, why the hell did he have to explain himself? Was it not obvious who he was talking about?

"Him, the Boy Who Lived, the bloody Saviour, they want to worship _him_!" He snapped, his voice strained and his whole body rigid. He hated that, he hated that so much!

"You are the Saviour, Harry. You know that." Healer Matthews was a little perplexed by this- magical folk were not in the habit of talking to their patients about their feelings, they were far more used to treat their ailments with potions and spells, not delve into the depth of the human mind. This was something that was quickly changing as Healers have started to realize that treating the symptoms, especially of people dealing with psychological issues, didn't exactly solve the problem.

"I just want to be me!" Harry said, his voice cracking, as he looked at his healer with pleading eyes- please, oh gods, please make this stop, please make it better! Healer Matthews took a deep breath and nodded, gesturing for Harry to sit. He carefully sat on the bed, looking like a kicked puppy,

"Harry, I believe that you are suffering from what we call 'After War Anxiety Syndrome'. Unfortunately it's a pretty common illness these days. A lot of people who fought in the war seem to attract it and I promise you that we will do our best to make sure you get through this in one piece." She patted his knee encouragingly, and smiled, though Harry didn't share her smile. Instead he gave her a puzzled look,

"After War Anxiety Syndrome?" He repeated slowly, really? Was that really her diagnosis? "Is that like post trauma?" His healer thought about it for a brief moment before she smiled,

"Yes, exactly, that's what the muggles are calling it- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder." She declared happily and Harry forced a weak smile at her. Healer Matthews rose from her seat and canceled the charm on her quill before she gave Harry a bright smile.

"I'm glad we had this talk." She said, "I'll come by tomorrow and we'll discuss your treatment options." Harry nodded feebly and the woman left his room, closing the door behind her. Harry slumped back on the bed and sighed. This was not going to end well! He dreaded to think what sort of treatment options his healer was going to come up with- did they do electro-shock therapy in the magical world? Probably not, they must have a spell for that, something that was probably so dark he was in danger of losing all his memories, or even his life! Harry swallowed hard, trying to decide if he should escape the hospital and find refuge in Grimauld Place. After the initial panic subsided he decided he'd hear his options first, after all- he was legally an adult, so they couldn't really force him into anything, right?

As it turned out, what his healer had in mind was far more simple than anything Harry's fevered mind could come up with, and proved Dean's point- potions. They wanted to give him a bunch of potions to take away the anxiety and make him happier. Harry wasn't too sure he liked that course of action, his experience with potions wasn't the best thus far- sure they worked but they tasted like shit and he really didn't feel like starting to chug them down by the cauldron-full on a regular basis.

He was sitting on his bed, his knees pulled to his chest and his chin resting on them, feeling sorry for himself. Why was this happening to him? Hasn't he suffered enough? All he wanted was to be normal, to be like everybody else, and for a few glorious moments after waking up every morning he managed to convince himself that he was. He was just Harry, a normal eighteen years old bloke who was going to finish his schooling and start his life, just like everyone else. He should have been worried about career choices, debating whether or not he wanted to be an Auror or a Healer or a bloody Professional Quidditch player, not have a frigging panic attack every time anyone even mentioned the word 'People', or worse 'Fans'.

"Wow, you just can't seem to get enough of this place, huh?" Harry lifted his head quickly, a smile blossoming on his face as Seamus strutted into the room, shaking his head with mock sadness,

"What are you doing here?" Seamus sat comfortably on the bed, facing his friend, while Harry's body subconsciously relaxed and he spread his legs towards him,

"Well, I came by your place to celebrate your birthday and Professor Lupin told me you're back in here. I come bearing cake," He said and produced a small box from his pocket and enlarged it to reveal a creamy chocolate cake inside, "And booze, but the medi-staff confiscated it..." He added sadly while Harry was chuckling.

"You remembered my birthday..." Harry smiled softly, so far no one seemed to remember his birthday, which was a little hurtful- no, it hurt like hell, they were supposed to be his friends!

"Of course I did, it's practically a national holiday." Seamus said flippantly but quickly changed the subject when he saw the way Harry's eyes widened in fear, "So, what are you in here for this time?" Harry let out a long suffering breath and threw himself back on his pillows,

"I... I sort of had a meltdown," He said, his voice a little embarrassed, "It was quite public..." A grin erupted on Seamus' face,

"Really? Was it a proper one? Did you throw stuff and hexed people?" He asked eagerly and Harry shook his head,

"No... I just sort of froze, and fainted..." Seamus cringed in sympathy, man that was no way to handle a meltdown...

"And what are the healers saying?" Seamus' asked as he placed his hand on Harry's, trying to comfort the other teen, knowing that Harry was feeling far more embarrassed than he should, after all- it wasn't really Harry's fault.

"My healer thinks I have After War Anxiety Syndrome..." Seamus rolled his eyes at that,

"Yeah, figures." When Harry gave his a puzzled look he elaborated, "Come on Harry, everyone gets diagnosed with that now days! Oh, you broke your leg? Must be your AWAS acting up... splinched yourself in half, sadly, it must be the AWAS who caused that... Seriously, they're like a toddler who learned a new word!" He scoffed, those bloody healers... Harry chuckled softly, feeling instantly better knowing he wasn't the only one who thought this was ridiculous. "So, what is their brilliant solution to your problem?" Harry shrugged,

"They want to give me some cheering and anti-anxiety potions." He said, rolling his eyes, but instead of Seamus going into another rant about magical folk and their tendency to heal everything with potions, the Irish teen looked thoughtful, "What, aren't you going to say how daft that is?"

"Actually," Seamus began slowly, "It's not such a bad idea." Harry was completely flabbergasted by that,

"But, you're the one who said that not everything could be cured with potions, you and Dean, what the hell happened to that?" That was hypocrisy, that was!

"The truth is, if you were in a muggle hospital, most chances you'd be given meds as well." Seamus said calmly, smiling sadly at Harry, "I don't think potions are bad as a whole, I just don't think they should be viewed as the solution to everything, but in your case- why not?"

"I don't want to be medicated to my eyeballs just to be able to pass a day without freaking out, this is ridiculous!" Harry scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Seamus looked at his friend, he knew how stubborn Harry could be when he wanted, and he knew it wouldn't be easy to convince him, but when it came down to it, the alternative was much worse and was proven quite grandly by the little 'meltdown' Harry suffered. Besides, knowing Harry Seamus was pretty sure his friend's brilliant solution to his problem involved isolating himself from the rest of the world and spiraling into depression and despair, and that was really unacceptable!

"Listen, I'm going to tell you something that not a lot of people know about me," He said softly, "I'm taking potions, every day." Harry looked up startled,

"What? What sort of potions? Are you ill?" Seamus shook his head, smiling at Harry's reaction,

"Nope, just a little hyper. I've been taking the magical equivalent of Ritalin since I was eight. It helps me sort through the thoughts in my head and concentrate on schoolwork. Trust me, it would have been a lot worse if I didn't. Don't look at it as a failure, this is just help. It'll make you feel more relaxed and you could actually do things you want to do instead of freaking out, or in my case, going mental because you can't figure out where to start." Harry smiled softly, wow, if Seamus was on a bunch of concentration potions every day...

"Now I kinda want to know what you're like without your potions." Harry said with a small wink and Seamus rolled his eyes,

"Trust me, it's not pretty." Seamus shook his head in mock sadness. "But really, what the potions will do is just take the crippling fear away, so that you can feel like yourself again. It's worth a shot if you ask me, after all, what's your alternative?" Harry shrugged,

"Going to Grimauld Place and turn into a ghost." For a second Seamus wasn't sure if Harry was joking or not so he decided to fix his friend with a glare, just in case,

"Great, so basically you want to throw your life away, and to think you fought so hard to be free so you'd be able to do whatever it was you wanted. That's... very smart." Harry sighed, folding his legs to his chest again, and curling into a ball. He knew Seamus was right, and he knew he was acting like a petulant child but it was still hard to come to terms with the fact that he'd have to take potions on a daily basis. All his life he'd been told by his relatives that only weak and crazy people sought the help of drugs and medications. And now he was going to be one of those people, one of those weak, feeble minded folk who couldn't help themselves.

"I just..." He started softly, "I just... I feel like this is something I should be able to fight on my own, it's just..."

"Acute anxiety." Seamus supplied helpfully and Harry threw him a dirty look, "Harry, this sort of thing will not go away without help. People are not going to stop being interested in every move you make, and if they can't get the real you to talk to them they'll eat up whatever the magical media will see fit to say about you." Harry cringed at his words, gods, this was going to be so much worse than he initially thought. "Look, here's the deal, you've been given another year to prepare yourself, because I guarantee you Headmistress McGonagall isn't going to let any of those pesky reporters into her school, no matter what, so you can take this opportunity and make the most of it- take your potions and learn to deal with this forced fame or you can run away and just throw away your life now. So what will it be?" Seamus fixed his friend with a no nonsense sort of glare, which unfortunately went unnoticed as Harry still refused to look up from his knees,

"I don't know..." He muttered softly, and Seamus rolled his eyes,

"Harry!" He snapped, causing the other teen to finally snap out of his stupor and look up, and seeing the seriousness in his friend's eyes and sighed,

"Fine! I'll think about it." He finally conceded and Seamus gave him a bright smile, knowing this was the most he was likely to get right now,

"Good, now let's go up to the roof and have some cake!" He declared happily, and rose from the bed, collecting his cake and waiting for Harry to unfold himself and get up from the bed as well. The two teens made their way down the hall, tracking the now familiar way towards the roof,

"So, anything interesting happened while I was stuck here this time?" Harry asked, mostly to try and get Seamus' mind off the fact that he didn't really agree not to go to Grimauld Place and give up his life entirely. Seamus cast a side-glance at his mate and a devilish smile crossed his face,

"Oh, Merlin! You have no idea!" He gushed out, causing Harry to smile, "The Hero had a complete meltdown, in the middle of a shopping center, it was epic!" Harry bit his lip, trying to hold back a smile, because he just knew that the way Seamus was going to describe it was so much better then what really happened, "He was standing next to a fruit stand, and let me tell you... what a mess! There was this one guy who was carted off to St. Mungo's after he got hit by a viciously sharp slice of mango, another got some pretty serious berry bruises, and don't even get me started on the pineapples!" Seamus rolled his eyes impressively, smiling wide as Harry's genuinely happy laughter echoed through the corridor.

 **~~o0o o0o o0o~~**

 **A/N:** It seems to me that a self defense against fruit class would not go amiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**MAKE UP YOUR MIND**

 **Chapter Three**

Harry informed his healer he was willing to start on the potions treatment the next morning, much to her delight. She wasted no time, and started experimenting with various potions and doses that very same day.

The first round of potions was making Harry literally bounce off the walls, his whole body vibrating with inability to stay still, so much so in fact that by the time the potions wore off he realized he was both exhausted and covered in bruises. The next round didn't make him bounce like a rubber ball all over the place but it did leave him grinning like an idiot and drooling over himself. It took about a week and a half to get the potions sorted, and Harry couldn't have been happier when he finally managed to feel like his old self.

He was released from the hospital shortly after, with a case of potions to last him a month, a prescription for a refill at the apothecary and strict orders for Remus to make sure Harry was taking his potions regularly. He also got a follow-up appointment for two months ahead. Harry was so eager to test his new found freedom from the Fear that he insisted on taking Remus out for ice-cream. His initial idea was to go to Florean Fortescue's, but Remus gently managed to take him off that particular idea. It was all good and well to have the old Harry back but that didn't mean he'd have to test how well his potions were working smack down in the heart of the magical community. The two ended up in a small muggle café not far from the hospital, where Harry was feeling so happy and carefree he even managed to flirt a little with the waitress, insisting he was just being polite when he saw Remus' smirk.

The rest of the summer Harry spent testing the limits of his potions. He knew the easiest solution would be to use glamours or even polyjuice potion, but he hated the formers and his healer forbade him to use the latter, besides, he wasn't going to spend the rest of life pretending he was somebody else- he's worked too hard to become who he was now, and he was actually liking himself more these days. At least he liked himself well enough not to want to hide behind an assumed identity. So far he discovered he didn't mind much going into muggle areas, especially those in smaller towns where there was less of a chance someone would recognize him. Going to the Weasleys was no longer a chore but a happy weekly event. He even ventured into London with Remus once, reaching all the way to the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron before his courage failed him. But that too was alright, because as Remus had said, that was just asking for trouble.

By the end of August Harry was more than ready to go back to school, see his friends and start his life. He's been seeing most of his friends during that month, even Draco, who was dragged out of his manor by Seamus to meet the gang in London, grumbling and complaining the whole time about having to spend time with Gryffindors. But the one Harry missed the most was Hermione. After spending so much time alone together the past year the two formed a bond that was much stronger than Harry even realized and now, having to deal with all he's been dealing all summer without his best friend was quite hard. But Hermione was scheduled to return from Australia only two days before the start of term and Harry knew he wouldn't be able to see her before they met on the train.

When September first finally arrived Harry was glad for the change in pace, excited to go back to some sort of normality, but mostly he was nervous as to what would happen when he crossed the barrier to platform nine and three-quarters, which was going to be the first time since the battle that he was going to be in a strictly magical environment, alongside other people. He knew that his friends will be there for him, forming a physical barrier if needed, and that Remus was going to watch his every step like a hawk, and while he took comfort in the thought, he couldn't rid himself of the nerves completely.

Standing in front of the barrier that separated the magical and muggle train stations Harry took a deep breath, knowing that if he chickened out now there was no going back. Remus placed his hand on Harry's shoulder, giving the teen an encouraging smile, which Harry returned feebly before he bravely stepped through the barrier, before he lost his nerve completely.

The platform was already quite full with students of all ages, all of them standing with parents and family and chatting. No one seemed to notice the new arrival and Harry let out a small sigh of relief. His relief changed almost instantly to panic when someone pounced on him, hugging him tight before he realized it was Hermione. With his heart beating a mile a minute Harry returned the hug, squeezing his friend at tightly as he could, before she pulled back a little and gave him a slightly watery smile,

"Oh gods Harry, it's so good to see you!" She cried happily, "You look good!" Harry blushed a little as she pushed him to arm length and checked out his new wardrobe. He had chosen to go with fitted jeans, that were not too tight, so that he could run if he was swamped with fans again- he was _not_ going to faint this time! And a dark green T-shirt that Tonks insisted brought out his eyes. It was so weird having people comment on his appearance, usually they just looked at him with pity every time he showed up with his enormous cousin's bags of fabric. But now, every time he stepped into 'The Burrow' he was greeted with cat-calls and wolf-whistles and while at first it made him want to hide under the table he gradually learned to accept them and even twirl around for his audience's amusement.

"You too, you've got a great tan." Hermione smiled wide and gave a little curtsy and they both laughed.

"I'm so sorry I've been gone most of the summer, I missed you like crazy, and I feel so bad for leaving you to deal with everything on your own, are you okay?" She said all in one breath and Harry shrugged,

"I'm okay, it was a bit rough for a while, but I'm good." Hermione seemed relieved to hear that, and looping her arm in Harry's she started leading him through the station to where Seamus was standing with Parvati, Dean and Hannah. Harry smiled when he saw Seamus, who was in the middle of explaining something to his friends, his hands flying as he spoke. Whenever Seamus was telling a story his whole body was participating in the telling, not just his mouth, and it was always fun to watch.

When he reached his friends he was immediately enveloped in a four way bear hug, Harry was laughing breathlessly as his body was squashed in from all sides. He stood there and chatted to his friends for a bit, checking the barrier to see who was coming in. The whole bunch watched as Draco crossed the barrier alongside Blaise and Pansy, the three of them looking around them trying to project the same air of arrogance and snobbishness as before but failing rather miserably. Hermione sighed in exasperation and walked over, physically dragging Pansy back to the group, leaving Draco and Blaise to trail behind. It was pretty clear things have turned 180 degrees for the house of Slytherin, and while the younger years were more likely to adapt faster, it was pretty hard for the only three eight-years.

Harry kept watching the barrier with trepidation, wondering what will happen when the Weasleys finally showed up. Will Ron even be talking to him? Should he be talking to Ron? After all, he's been coming to Friday dinners at Ron's place for about a month now and they haven't been alone once, mostly because Ron would slink out of the room whenever he realized he might be left alone with Harry. He hated to think his best friend of seven years was completely lost to him, but on the other hand, it takes two to work on a friendship and Ron didn't seem to be pulling much weight either.

Looking around him he realized he was standing between Hermione and Seamus, Hermione's arm looped through his while Seamus' hand was resting on the small of his back. He knew that if he questioned them they'd both say they were only doing this to protect him and possibly apparate him to safety if something happened but he knew better. Hermione was just happy to see him after so long, and this, while quite a-typical for her, was her way of showing how much she missed him. And Seamus, well, he was just tactile by nature, as Harry learned during their seven years of living together, he would always touch and hug and put his arm round people's shoulders, mostly without even noticing he was doing that.

When they were younger Harry found it rather disconcerting- he was never overly used to touch and his natural reaction to people touching him was flinching, but around third year he stopped doing that, mostly because of Seamus' casual touches and Remus, Molly and then Sirius who felt compelled to fill the hugs quota Harry missed as a child. By now he didn't really care anymore, not that he'd let anyone who wasn't close to him touch him but when his friends did, he basked in their physical contact rather than push them away.

Looking over at Seamus Harry smiled, suddenly realizing that while he was stressing about Ron drifting away from him he was subconsciously drawing nearer to the Irish boy and at this point in his life, it seemed that Seamus has become his best friend without even trying too hard, and Harry found out he really liked that idea, because being friends with Seamus was so much easier than being friends with Ron ever was. Seamus was fun and carefree and he didn't have Ron's issues with proving himself to his parents and the world and truth be told, Harry was getting a little tired of Ron's insecurities. After all, it wasn't his fault that his life took the course they had, and if he could he'd switch places with Ron in a heartbeat- having a normal childhood with loving parents and family. But Ron never seemed to understand Harry's aversion of fame and his insistence that he wasn't anything special, and Harry got fed up with explaining it to him.

When the Weasley family finally showed up, Harry tensed, watching Ron walking through the barrier with a sulk on his face. Harry wasn't sure if it was because Ron considered himself above this ritual of showing up for the train- especially since he complained quite often at the unfairness of the eight-year students not allowed to apparate straight to Hogsmede instead of riding the train with the lesser years. Or maybe it was just because he was forced to spend another year in school and finish at the same time as his baby sister. Speaking of his baby sister, Harry watched in trepidation as Ginny sauntered into the platform, flashing a million galleons smile in every direction and flipping her hair fetchingly behind her shoulder. Harry wanted to roll his eyes at his girlfriend's dramatics but had little chance as she just spotted him and plastered herself to his side, pushing the arms of Hermione and Seamus off of him none too gently and turned him slightly to the left so that they were both facing the crowd. Harry decided not to comment on her behavior right now, but he knew he'd have to catch her alone for a little chat about her desire for fame. It was one thing giving out interviews to whoever was willing to hear her but it was quite another to drag him into this charade alongside her. Luckily for him the train let out a sharp whistle just then, indicating the student should start boarding. Harry quickly slipped while Ginny was still busy posing for the masses and boarded the train, looking for the carriage his friends were in.

The train ride itself was rather pleasant, and Harry spent it mostly catching up with the friends he didn't see all summer, like Hermione, Justin and others. He took a little trip to stretch his legs at some point, peeking into the other carriages to see what went there. He could easily spot the ones who held first years, the nervous glances and timid introduction that blossomed to awkward conversations were a tall-tell sign of new students and Harry smiled to himself, thinking about his first train ride to Hogwarts. He saw Ginny in one of the carriages, sitting regally while the assembled students looked at her in awe. Harry shook his head in disgust, but was very pleased that he wasn't in there as well. It seemed like Ginny was doing a mighty job upholding her social status and she didn't really need his awkwardness to ruin her performance, and that was just fine with Harry.

Later Harry sat at the Gryffindor table, surrounded by his friends all laughing and chattering. He missed this place dearly, and he was so happy to see that during the summer Headmistress McGonagall managed to restore it to its former glory. The Great Hall looked just as it did before the war, as did the Entrance Hall and the grounds, from what Harry could see in the fading daylight before entering the castle. He looked up at the Head table, noting that most of his former professors returned to take their jobs, even Snape was back, looking sour as ever and grumbling at something that Remus whispered to him, though Harry was pretty sure the dark potions master was making a valiant effort to hold back a smile. It was so good to see Remus back in school, teaching DADA again and Harry knew that every student in the hall who ever had the fortune of being taught by Remus was also mightily happy to see him again.

Harry was actually pretty glad most of the staff remained the same, it was much easier than having to learn to deal with a whole new bunch of teachers, and it seemed that apart from Remus, who wasn't strictly a new teacher there one other, professor Orchidee Lindstrom, as the Headmistress introduced her, who was to take McGonagall's place as the transfiguration professor. Luckily, the duty of Head of Gryffindor house fell on Remus, much to the delight of his house.

When the feast was over Headmistress McGonagall rose from her chair, beaming at the sea of students before her. After everything they've been through, she was so glad they could reopen the school and return to some sort of normality. The kids, especially the young ones needed the stability that a school offered, but reopening Hogwarts was also a symbol to all the Magical community that the war was indeed over and that they were ready to return to the routine that peaceful times offered.

"Good evening, my dear students." She called out loudly, waiting for the hubbub of chattering to cease, "These past couple of years had been very difficult for us all, and I would like for all of us to take a moment to remember the brave witches and wizards who gave their lives in the war against the dark forces and gave us all a chance for a better future." The Headmistress lowered her head, and every teacher and student in the hall followed her example to respect the fallen.

Harry took a deep breath through his nose, and squeezed his eyes shut. He, more than any other student in here, knew what sacrifices were made to ensure the war was won, and he, more than any other student in the hall, and in fact more than any witch or wizard in Britain felt responsible for each and every death. A soft hand squeezed his knee and he turned his head to see Seamus giving him a small encouraging smile. Harry blinked and let out the air from his lungs, returning the smile and feeling a whole lot better all of a sudden.

Headmistress McGonagall looked at the bowed heads before her, trying to swallow around the lump that was forming in her throat. It still felt wrong to her to be sitting in this place that was rightfully Albus', and addressing the student body in his place. But Albus was dead and he wasn't coming back and she had a job to do, it was what Albus wanted, she knew, but sometimes it was still hard to accept. Pulling herself back together she cleared her throat and smiled at her students once the minute of silence was over, "I am most delighted to welcome all of you back to the new and everlasting Hogwarts." Cheers erupted from the entire hall and most of the kids clapped happily. No matter what was going in the outside world, and no matter how dire the circumstances, Hogwarts was always there, and McGonagall vowed to herself that as long as she held the reigns of the school she would never let such atrocities as last year to happen to her beloved school. "Tomorrow you will begin another year of school, and I pray and hope this year will be both educational and full of happy memories for all of you." She smiled wide as the students cheered again, it was a good sign and she was pleased to see that all of them were ready to put the horrible past behind them. "I will now ask the Prefects to escort the first years to their new dorms, and the rest of you to follow suit, except the class of 'Eighth year', who are requested to stay behind."

With that she sat back down and waited for the chaos of hoards of students leaving the hall to subside. She surveyed the eighth year class, noting with a pang of sadness that not all chose to return- the largest group to come back were of course the Gryffindors, who showed up in full ranks, the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were almost all there but the Slytherin house was almost entirely absent, with only three students returning. She had spoken with the parents of each child and knew that most students from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff that decided not to return went on to finish their last year in other magical schools, mainly Beauxbatons and that those who didn't return from Slytherin were either dead, imprisoned or not interested in finishing their proper education. Eventually she shook herself from her sad thoughts and smiled at the remaining children in the hall,

"First of all, I would like to congratulate those who decided to continue with us this year, you are most welcome back." She smiled at the teens who cheered loudly, "The staff and I have thought long and hard how to make this work for you since our classes are pretty much full. Therefore you are going to be studying your basic NEWTS together as a group, but the elective additional NEWTS will be learned with the Seventh years. Also, there is no room for you in the existing dorms and therefore we've decided to put you all in the east tower, where you shall have your own accommodation." A loud cheer went up at her last words, all the students looking rightfully excited about having their own quarters. Headmistress McGonagall smiled briefly, knowing that her next words were going to be even more exhilarating for her pupils, "In addition to your own quarters you shall be divided into pairs, each pair shall receive a room of their own." At that the hall nearly exploded with cheers, and the Headmistress was slightly shocked at how much noise 28 teens could make. She could see people gesturing one another if they'd like to share a room and smiled slightly, well, this was the hard part, and she did not expect it to go down smoothly.

"We have taken the liberty of pairing you already." She informed the excited crowd and true to her prediction the noise level dropped significantly to indicate the students' disapproval. The Headmistress allowed a few moments of grunting and growling before she raised her hand again to quiet the hall. "The pairs of roommates have been chosen so that each person is to share a room with a person from another house. The staff and I believe that you have been through enough by now to know that the other houses are not the enemy and that if we work together we can achieve great things." The crowd of teenagers didn't seem all that inspired by her words but she knew it didn't matter, because most of them were actually getting along just fine, and besides, they were all going to be stuck in the same common room for the upcoming year so what difference did it make who they shared a room with. Lifting a sheet of parchment from the table the Headmistress began to call out names.

"Seamus Finnigan and Draco Malfoy," The two boys looked at each other and grinned, no matter who the other pairs were, theirs was going to be the most fabulous, fun room in the whole tower. "Ron Weasley and Justin Finch-Fletchly," An array of emotions crossed Ron's face before settling on 'It could be worse' acceptance, "Hermione Granger and Padma Patil," Hermione's face broke into a huge smile and she turned to Parvati who was seated next to her to whisper something in her ear, the Indian girl nodding vigorously in assent.

Harry was biting his lip, wondering who he was going to get. The fact that Malfoy was already sorted was a huge load off his mind, because even though they've buried the hatchet and were almost friends these days he really didn't feel like spending his last year shacking up with Malfoy. Headmistress McGonagall continued rattling names off her list, Dean and Ernie, Blaise and Anthony, Lavender with Mandy and on and on and Harry was starting to feel like he was going to be left alone in the end. Even though he knew that the pairs have already been made and that even if he was last it didn't mean nobody wanted him a little goblin of doubt was starting to grin evilly in his mind, because this felt a lot like primary school all over again when Dudley threatened the other kids if they actually chose Harry for their team. He was losing track of the names, descending into his little dark cloud of despair when finally the Headmistress called out,

"Harry Potter and Michael Corner." Harry looked up at the Ravenclaw table and smiled shyly at Michael. Michael gave Harry a small smile in return, pushing his glasses up his nose before he turned back to the book he was reading. Harry wasn't sure what to make of the other teen, he couldn't remember ever having a conversation with the guy before but Michael was in the D.A. so he couldn't have been that bad. Besides, if the fact he couldn't tear himself away from his book even for the opening feast meant something then he could only hope that Michael's studiousness will rub off on him. Harry rolled his eyes at himself, gods he sounded like Hermione... Let's try that again, he told himself firmly- If the fact that Michael couldn't tear himself away from his book even for the opening feast meant something then Harry could only hope that he would spend most of his time in the library and that will leave Harry with a room mostly to himself. There, that was much better! Harry bit his lip to hide a smile at the thought.

When the Headmistress finally read the last names out and dismissed them the whole eighth year got up to leave the Great Hall and make their way to their new tower where they met their guarding portrait, a beautiful, tall and very pale woman with long dark hair and a very plunging neckline who introduced herself as Lady Lavinia de Morigen, bowing deep and causing quite a few students to blush and avert their eyes, and told them their first password of the year was 'Ebony toads'.

Harry walked into his new room with a wide smile. The room was large enough to accommodate two four-posters beds, two fairly large desks and a wardrobe that was definitely big enough for two boys who mostly wore school uniforms. To the side of the door stood a small sink so that they didn't have to go all the way to the common showers just to brush their teeth, or get a drink of water. After all this time sharing with four other boys this was pure luxury.

He quickly changed into his night clothes, closing the door against the noise in the common room, as teens came in and out of their rooms to share new discoveries (the most joyous one was that boys could actually get into the girls' dorms without a broom). Snuggling into his blankets, the last thought that passed through Harry's mind was- this is going to be a great year!


	4. Chapter 4

**MAKE UP YOUR MIND**

 **Chapter Four**

"Harry!" Harry stopped in the middle of the busy corridor and turned to look who was calling for him. He watched as Seamus struggled with the flow of students that seemed to be heading the opposite direction so that when he finally made it to Harry's side he was quite winded. Harry smiled,

"Everything alright, Shey?" The young Irishman nodded, holding his side and trying to catch his breath,

"I'm so glad I caught you," He smiled brightly, "I wanted to make sure you're coming to our party tonight."

"Oh gods, that's tonight?" Harry sincerely tried to sound miserable, hoping that Seamus will give him a pass on this one. Out of all the people surrounding him, Seamus was one of those who knew best how much he disliked being paraded as a trophy and parties were pretty high on his list of aversions. It didn't really matter that Seamus' been talking non-stop about this party and as a result most of the eight-year student were practically counting the minutes till the weekend arrived. Seamus fixed his friend with a disapproving glare,

"Harry, we've been through this, it's just a little get together in mine and Draco's room for us eights to celebrate the start of our last and most definitely _final_ year in this place!"

"I don't know," Harry said cagily, feeling the onset of a small panic attack building up, "I have homework and stuff." Seamus gave him an unimpressed look and smiled devilishly,

"Hermione is coming." Harry sighed, damn it! That was his best argument! And bloody Seamus knew it, by the smile on his face. "Look, it's just us eights, I promise, no mini fans to come and ogle you, we'll just have a couple of drinks, talk and have fun."

"Will there be any weed?" Seamus' expression turned sour, a pout forming on his lips,

"No... Dean and Neville thought it'll be too 'risky for our growing efforts if too many people knew what we're doing'." Seamus rolled his eyes exasperatedly, clearly not in agreement with his co-conspirators, "Don't worry; you'll be safe from the Devil's herb, OK?" Harry rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the snort of laughter,

"Alright, fine, I'll be there." He finally conceded and Seamus actually squealed happily, before hugging Harry tightly and continuing on his way, this time going along with the flow. Harry stood in the corridor, his body still tingling from the hug, though he tried to tell himself that it was because Seamus squeezed too hard. It was strange how he was suddenly so aware of Seamus' proximity. Was it because things with Ginny were going south? Wait, what the hell was he thinking? Even if things were going to end with Ginny soon, it wasn't like Seamus was a viable replacement! Harry took a deep breath and shook his head to clear it, this was ridiculous and he'll just have to tell Seamus to stop hugging so hard. With that in mind he pulled himself together and continued his way towards the Great Hall for lunch.

That evening Harry met with Hermione, Parvati, Neville and Dean and together they made their way up to Seamus and Draco's room which happened to be the topmost in the tower. Harry was still feeling a little apprehensive about the party but Hermione assured him that none of them is going to drink or do anything before they make sure it was a safe zone for him. Harry appreciated the offer but he really didn't want his friends to miss out on any sort of fun on his account. After all, if push comes to shove he could always leave. He knew that this was silly, Seamus promised it was only going to be eight years there and Harry wanted to trust him so bad, because he was getting along fine with the rest of his year and he actually liked hanging out in the common room, so why was he so nervous now?

When the door opened Harry stepped into the room and gasped in astonishment- while he and Michael barely had time to hang up one Quidditch poster on the wall, Seamus and Draco had been quite busy it seemed. Every inch of the walls was covered with glossy magazine pictures, some magically moving and some muggle stationary, the ceiling was covered in an intricate web of artificial fairy lights, twinkling and changing colors constantly. Even the beds were transformed with the aid of colorful scarves wrapped around the four posters of each one. The whole place looked so...

"Gay!" Dean said loudly, "Bloody hell, Shey, I didn't think you could get any gayer than you were but putting you together with a poof like Malfoy and it looks like you've skinned a bunch of drag queens to make this room!" Seamus beamed at his best friend's critique. He loved the effect his room was having on them- true; it was a tad over the top, even for him but that was the whole point! And besides, after tonight, _some_ of it will go away.

"Seamus, don't be rude, invite your heathen friends in." Draco said from behind Seamus' back, giving the bunch of Gryffindors one of his patented Malfoy smirks. "I see Weasley didn't come," He observed neutrally, though his voice held a sharp note. The Gryffindors shrugged,

"He said he's got too much work to do." Dean supplied, not really caring what Ron's reasons were, he just wanted some firewhiskey after the week they've had. First week of school was always a bitch! Besides, Ron's absence was his loss, not Dean's!

"Work, is that what we call homophobia these days?" Draco mused almost to himself and while Harry cringed a little, Hermione simply rolled her eyes.

"Draco, play nice." Seamus warned, before Hermione gave the blond a sweet smile,

"Oh, Ron isn't a homophobe, he just doesn't like _you_." Draco narrowed his eyes at her, about to give her a piece of his mind when Dean piped,

"Yeah, he's a Dracophobe." The rest of the Gryffindors sniggered, while Draco crossed his arms over his chest,

"A Malphobe!" Neville cried happily and the rest cheered in assent- a Malphobe was definitely right, and something quite a lot of people seemed to suffer from over the years.

"That's why I hate Gryffindors!" Draco muttered darkly as a laughing Seamus ushered his preening friends into the room. Harry was contemplating offering the Slytherin an apology when he saw Draco averting his eyes and biting his lip to hide a smile. It was quite amazing how much the blond had changed and to be honest, Harry was quite pleased. He was just about ready to head to the drinks table with his friends when Seamus caught his arm and pulled him aside,

"Are you OK? Is that too many people? I'm pretty sure this is the final tally, you guys are actually kinda late." He said in a rush, as if to try and get it all out before Harry bolted. Harry smiled and placed his hand on Seamus' arm,

"Don't worry, I took my potions, I'll be right." Seamus looked almost offended at that,

"I told you it was just going to be us." He chided Harry gently, "Anyway, let's get you a drink." Harry's face darkened,

"Um, I'm not sure that's a good idea, these potions apparently don't work too well with alcohol…" He shrugged apologetically. If it was a choice between not feeling panicked beyond his wits or not drinking then he'll never drink again- he was a lousy drinker anyway, and he didn't even like beer, though that was one secret he'll probably take to the grave with him. Seamus looked crestfallen for a moment before he brightened up,

"Butterbeer it is!" He cried triumphantly, "There's hardly any alcohol in that- they give the bloody stuff to children!" He finished his argument and Harry smiled, Butterbeer it was.

By the time they joined their peers everyone was already hard at work on their second drink, at least, and the room was full of laughter and music and the clinking of bottles and glasses.

Harry smiled benevolently to the room at large, feeling quite good. It was a party, and people were having fun, and no one was even looking at him. It was perfect. He was standing between Hermione and Seamus and taking small sips of his drink, letting the creamy beverage slide down his throat, gods he loved butterbeer!

"Let's play a game!" Everyone turned to look at Pansy, who was swaying slightly on her feet, holding a bottle and grinning wide, "Let's play 'Never have I ever never ever...'" She screwed her eyebrows in concentration for a few seconds, the whole room watching avidly, before her face brightened up, "Ever!" She declared happily and beamed at everyone,

"How can she be drunk already?" Hermione wondered, and looked at her own bottle, feeling like she's been bereft of the good stuff, "We only got here like five minutes ago." On Harry's other side Seamus snorted,

"She showed up here two hours ago, to 'Help set up the party'," He told them with an impressive roll of his eyes. Harry looked at the grinning Pansy, it must be so nice- letting go of control like that. He'd spent so long working on always being in control, especially after what happened to Sirius that he wasn't sure he could ever let go again, in fact, the mere thought of letting go was making him feel agitated.

"How about we play 'Spin the bottle'?" Draco cried from the other side of the room, and the rest of the teens cheered in agreement, spinning the bottle was easy, it didn't require much thinking which by now pretty much everyone was way beyond anyway. The teens hurried to arrange themselves in a big circle on the floor in the middle of the room. Harry had no intention joining them- these sort of games were never his forte, besides everyone was drunk enough not to care who they kissed or who kissed them but he wasn't.

"Come on, guys, it'll be fun." Seamus cajoled both Harry and Hermione who were the last ones standing. Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled Harry to sit next to her before she fixed Draco, who was just sitting down opposite her with an empty bottle, with a playful glare,

"I'll play as long as Draco doesn't rig the bottle to point only on boys." She said sweetly and Draco let out an indignant cry, complete with a dramatic hand on his heart,

"Oh, you'd be so lucky to get your hands on this!" He cried and gestured all over himself and the whole room exploded with laughter. Draco pointedly passed the bottle to Blaise who was sitting to his right to spin first, his eyes fixed on Hermione with a hurt look no one bought. Soon the game was underway and everyone was either cheering the drunken kisses on or booing if they thought they were too chaste. Harry soon lost interest in the game and just sat there, fiddling with the label of his butterbeer and silently praying the bottle wouldn't land on him.

"So, Harry, are you excited about the upcoming Quidditch season?" Seamus asked as he leaned closer to Harry so he'd be heard over the crowd, "You're going to be captain, right?" Harry's shoulders sunk a little. He knew Seamus meant well, and that he was only asking this for the sake of conversation- or at least he thought he did, unless he actually... cared... but the point was, he was kind of hoping to slide this one under the radar, for as long as he could,

"Actually... no." He said slowly, noting that this caught not only Seamus' attention but Hermione's as well. "I'm not on the team this year."

"Since when?" Hermione asked curiously, and Harry shrugged,

"Since I told Madame Hooch I wasn't interested in playing this year." Both his friends gasped in astonishment, this was a piece of news they did not expect. The entire house of Gryffindor was pretty much secured in the knowledge they were going to take this year's cup, simply because they had Harry as their seeker. Some of them even joked they could just skip putting a team altogether and just send Harry over to win the game for them.

"Why won't you play?" Hermione asked softly, trying to keep the judgment from her voice. She was never that much of a Quidditch fan but even she knew how important Quidditch was to Harry.

"I decided I want a stress-free year." He said with a shrug, hoping beyond hope this will satisfy his friends, "All I'm going to do this year is keep my head down and study." He glanced both sides to see the reactions to his declaration, but to his dismay both his friends looked pensive rather than supporting,

"I don't know..." Hermione mused, looking at Harry with a calculating gaze and Harry wanted to roll his eyes,

"Seriously? Did you hear what I just said?" He asked incredulously, "I said I wanted to _study_!" He emphasized the last word to make sure she heard him correctly,

"Oh, I heard you, it's just too ridiculous to take seriously," She told him with a bright smile and Harry did roll his eyes, trying to ignore Seamus giggling on his other side. "I'm just worried you're giving up too much all at once,"

"What do you mean?" On Harry's right, Seamus laid a soft hand on his knee,

"She means you shouldn't stop doing all the things you like, and we all know how much you love Quidditch." Harry sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, but before he could say something Hermione interjected and Harry was starting to feel a lot like this was some sort of rehearsed intervention and he briefly wondered if Seamus organized this party for this specific reason,

"Harry, you've always enjoyed flying and playing Quidditch, and a part of you will always be an adrenaline junkie." She said with a soft smile, before exchanging a glance with Seamus over Harry's head, "We just think you should leave yourself something. If you give it all up, you'll..."

"Go mental." Seamus supplied helpfully and Hermione send him a glare,

"Get bored!" She said firmly. Harry sighed, he knew they were right, and everything they've said were the things he told himself so many times but the crux of it all was rather simple,

"I just... I hate people." Harry confessed lowly, keeping his eyes firmly on the floor and missing the look Hermione and Seamus shared above his head,

"All of us?" Seamus asked, his voice sounding a little insecure and Harry smiled, shaking his head softly,

"No... I mean, I can't go out there and be the hero again, I just want some peace and quiet, I want to finish my last year and leave this place and start living my life." He explained. Both Hermione and Seamus exchanged another glance, it wasn't that they didn't understand the reasoning behind Harry's decision, it was just that they weren't sure he was thinking this through- after all, Quidditch had been such a big part of Harry's life so far, sometimes the only thing that kept him going when things got tough, giving it up like that was bound to have repercussions. "Look guys, I can still go flying, no one is going to stop me from doing that, and it won't be too hard finding enough people for a friendly game of Quidditch every now and then, but let's face it- I love playing, that's true, but I really don't miss the crowds and, you know, the whole thing around the official games." He looked both ways at his friends who, he was glad to note were both bereft of words. His satisfaction was short lived, though, when he saw Pansy crawling on her hands and knees purposefully towards him. Looks like his luck had just ran out. Harry gulped as the intoxicated girl leaned into his personal space,

"Hello hero..." She purred and Harry tried to discreetly avert his face because her breath was so alcoholic it was making his head spin, "I've always wanted to kiss a hero, I bet you can do a whole lot more with that tongue than just the killing curse." To Harry's utter horror she actually wriggled her tongue at him, clearly trying to be seductive and Harry just knew everyone around him was falling over themselves laughing, but Merlin he was scared!

"Pansy!" His salvation came in the shape of a sharp cry from Draco, and when Pansy finally turned away from him, and looked at her friend he let out a tiny sigh of relief. Draco glared at the drunk girl and pointed meaningfully at Seamus. Everyone in the room sighed a collective disappointed sigh, true, the bottle did point at Seamus, and yes it was quite an achievement for Pansy in her current state that she was actually headed in the right direction but the look on Harry's face was just so comical it was really hard not to want to see this play out in full. Pansy's shoulders slumped a little before she turned back to Harry, this time crawling over to kneel in front of Seamus, who looked bemused more than anything,

"Alright, gay boy, let's see what you're made of!" She challenged as she approached Seamus, practically climbing into his lap,

"Oh, I can tell you right now," He babbled cheerfully, though Harry thought he could detect slight underlying fear in his tone, "It's mostly water and glitter..." Before he could add something else she pounced on him, the force of her movement sending them both flying to the floor as Pansy wasted no time in snogging the daylight out of Seamus. On his part Seamus was letting out little squeaks that Harry was pretty sure were meant to be a cry for help but after his own encounter with Pansy he was not going to draw her attention back to him anytime soon! The entire room around them was exploding with applause and laughter and even Harry couldn't help joining in.

When Pansy surfaced for air, she pulled back and smacked her lips in satisfaction, giving Harry a little wink as she turned around and crawled back to her seat, giving Harry and Seamus a full view of her extremely short skirt, which in this position hid practically nothing. Harry quickly averted his eyes and busied himself with helping Seamus up. The Irish boy was a little shaky, looking pale and slightly disoriented. Harry wasn't sure how much of it was an act and how much was real but he definitely could appreciate the sentiment, though he was mightily glad it was Seamus who took the fall and not him. Hermione handed Seamus the bottle with a smile she couldn't quite hide and he spun it. The bottle landed on Draco who smirked at the trio in front of him and Hermione rolled her eyes,

"I knew you rigged it!" She cried triumphantly, pointing her finger at Draco. Next to Harry, Seamus was getting to his knees,

"Nope," He said with a small shudder, "That was me!" The whole room exploded with laughter as Seamus crawled his way across the circle and came to a stop in front of Draco. Before he plunged in Seamus looked over at where Pansy was sitting and gave her a happy wriggle of his eyebrows, only to be answered by a two fingers salute from the Slytherin girl. Draco grabbed Seamus' shirt and pulled his towards him, sealing their lips together in a quite passionate kiss that dragged quite a few cat-calls and wolf-whistles from their friends.

Harry looked at the two boys kissing in front of him and felt his entire head going up in flames, he did not need to see this! From the way Seamus and Draco were moving it was clear it wasn't the first time they've done this sort of thing and for some reason it made Harry's blood boil. He stood abruptly, not entirely registering what he was doing, and Hermione, who was clearly enjoying the free show started,

"Harry, are you OK?" Harry looked down at his friend and realized a few others were now looking at him oddly. He swallowed hard, feeling like a complete prat all of a sudden,

"Yeah, just tired, I think I'll just... yeah." He said vaguely as he made his way to the door, hoping to avoid any more of what started to look like a very public make-out session, if the place Draco's hand was going was any indication. The sound of the door slamming shut caused Draco and Seamus to pull apart and Seamus looked over to where Harry was seated only to be met with Hermione's confused shrug.

Harry stormed down the stairs, slamming the door to his room behind his back. He was pacing the length of his room back and forth, feeling quite agitated. What the hell was that? And more importantly, why the hell did he care? An awful thought crossed his mind and he stopped dead on his tracks, slumping down into what he thought was the chair but turned out to be the cold stone floor with a heavy thud. What if what bothered him in seeing Seamus and Draco kiss was the fact they were both male? What if... what if uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia were right and this was a disgusting sin? For years he's been telling himself he was nothing like the Dursley's, that he would never share their views of the world and what was right or wrong, and here he was, a bloody homophobe, just like them!

Harry wasn't sure if he was about to burst into tears or into a mad laughter, sitting alone in his room on the cold floor and hating himself so much. No! No! He was better than this! This is just what they wanted, to break him, make his into a pathetic little shit who couldn't even form his own opinions. But no, he was not going to give the Dursley's this satisfaction! Pulling himself off the floor Harry took a deep breath, he was going to think this through, logically, and he wasn't going to let those horrible people into his head, not now and not ever!

Walking over to the closet Harry pulled out a pair of pyjamas and started dressing himself mechanically, getting ready for bed, and going through the motions with his head still buzzing. He tried to put the facts together, make sense of them- so yes, he did not like seeing Seamus and Draco kissing, not one bit, and it was far worse than watching Pansy trying to suck Seamus' soul out through his teeth, which _was_ terrifying, but on a completely different level. Perhaps he didn't care much for Pansy and Seamus kissing because it was clear Seamus wasn't enjoying it much, while his kiss with Draco was downright pornographic.

Harry shook his head to clear it of the disturbing image. OK, so he didn't want to see Seamus and Draco kissing, but then again, when he really thought about it- when Dean spun the bottle and it landed on Hannah it was just as bad, maybe even worse because it was clear that if there weren't people around those two were not going to stop there, and even though they were an official couple it was still a little too much. Harry stopped brushing his teeth mid stroke and looked at himself in the small mirror above the sink. He wasn't a homophobe! It wasn't the fact that Seamus and Draco were gay that was bothering him, it was the general idea of public kissing! Or maybe just seeing his friends kissing... Either way, he wasn't a homophobe, he was a prude! Harry let the air out of his lungs in a long sigh of relief, a prude, he could live with that. Spitting and rinsing quickly he gave himself one last look in the mirror, giving his reflection a half smile before he climbed into bed, and closed his eyes, completely satisfied with this new found self-knowledge.

A soft hand was caressing his shoulder, first it was a feather light touch, but then the hand became more persistent and eventually Harry was left with no choice but to turn onto his back. He moaned softly, not bothering to open his eyes and was answered by a soft chuckle. Lips, soft as velvet, were peppering his skin with little kisses, along his jaw line and down his neck. Harry sighed in bliss, this felt so good. The hand returned, fingers running delicately over his abdomen, mapping every muscle and curve, causing Harry to arch a little into the touch every time they found a sensitive spot. When the hand reached down to his naval it stopped to circle it a couple of times, the fingers sifting through the sparse hair that was leading downwards from his bellybutton and Harry let out a soft gasp, arching once more to encourage the hand to go lower. His mystery lover chuckled again, voice deep with want and suddenly the hand was gone. Harry keened in disappointment, but his torture was short lived as he felt those sinful fingers close around his half-hard cock, slick with oil.

The hand was moving slowly, languidly, as if his lover was planning on prolonging this experience as much as possible. Harry wanted to buck into the hand, make it go faster but his lover's other hand stilled his thighs with a surprisingly strong grip. Slowly but surely the pace of the hand on his cock increased and Harry found himself writhing, his right hand tightening around the sheets while his left hand was scrambling to get hold of his lover.

His hand closed on a hard bicep and Harry could feel the muscles under the smooth skin flexing as his lover sped up, the hand now moving the entire length of his shaft in long, even strokes that were only broken occasionally by a thumb pressing lightly to Harry's slit, causing the dark-haired man to buck up every time it did. A vague thought crossed Harry's mind that it was so nice that his lover knew exactly what he liked, but that thought was soon drowned in a sea of white as the world exploded behind his closed lids and he came hard into the hand that was still stoking him. It took Harry a couple of moments to recover, descending slowly from his orgasmic high, while his lover pressed against his side, making Harry's sweaty skin stick to theirs and even that was a turn on.

"Shh, relax babe, let me take care of you." The soft voice in his ear was familiar, husky and low and Harry frowned a little, trying to place it, but his brain was foggy with the pleasure he just received and the only thing that registered in his brain was that his lover's voice was definitely a male's.

Harry woke up with a start, sitting straight in his bed and gasping for air. What the fuck!? Looking down at his lap he realized to his utter shame and horror that he was covered in come, as was his right hand. Harry quickly reached for the wand under his pillow and spelled the mess away, as if the evidence of a wet dream was something incriminating. True, it's been a while since he had one of those, what with being too busy with the war and having a girlfriend... Oh, gods, Harry slumped back into the mattress, he had a girlfriend- and her name was Ginny and she was definitely a girl! And here he was, getting a dream hand job, which admittedly was one of the best dream hand jobs he's ever received, from a... from a... Harry took a deep breath and released it slowly, this will not do!

Reaching over with slightly shaky hands he pulled his bedside drawer open and rummaged through the potions there, before he found what he was looking for. Looking at the dreamless potion in his hand Harry contemplated whether or not to take some, but just then Michael turned over in his bed, letting out a soft sleepy moan and Harry's cheeks flushed anew when he could practically hear his dream lover moaning in his ear again. With shaky fingers Harry pulled the stopper from the vial and let three drops of vile-tasting potion hit his tongue.


	5. Chapter 5

**MAKE UP YOUR MIND**

 **Chapter Five**

"That's not fair!" Harry sighed; this was definitely not the way he wanted to start his final year! The first morning of school everyone found out about the new sleeping arrangements of the eighth years, and no one was particularly happy about it. Most students grumbled and muttered about the unfairness, but accepted it as a done deal by lunch, and now, three weeks later the only one still harping about it was Ginny Weasley.

"Merlin, Gin, give it a rest!" Ron cried exasperatedly, he knew better than all of them just how annoying his little sister could be and being the most stubborn out of a family of seven redheaded children was quite an achievement. All he wanted was to have a quiet breakfast for once without his sister flying off the handle again. For Merlin's sake, was this going to go on all year long? He'd have to start skipping meals in the Great Hall!

"No, Ron, I won't." Ginny retorted hotly, pointing her milk dripping spoon at her brother, "This isn't fair and you know it! We fought in the war just like you did, why should you get special treatment over us?" Ron rolled his eyes, the way Ginny was practically accusing each and every one of them was ridiculous, after all up until McGonagall's announcement none of them had any idea this was going to happen! It wasn't their fault!

"Yes, you've fought the war, but Ginny, you're acting as if we've got a bloody choice! We didn't ask for any of this, we don't make the bloody rules!" The rest of the table was watching the sparing siblings avidly, but Harry tried to minimize his presence as much as possible, because he just knew he'd be dragged into it at some point, and he really hoped he could at least go through half his breakfast before that happened.

"You can ask McGonagall to put you back where you belong!" Ginny snapped, her tone of voice suggesting this was not up for argument, "If enough of you go she'll have to consider this." Ron snored dismissively,

"That won't help, and besides, good luck finding enough eight years to actually go and talk to the Headmistress about this." At that Ginny turned her eyes and fixed her gaze on her boyfriend. Harry swallowed thickly and tried his best to avoid making eye contact with his girlfriend,

"Harry can go, he's got more pull than the lot of you put together, if he goes to McGonagall I bet she'll do pretty much everything he asks her to!" Harry sighed inwardly- first of all, he wasn't at all certain that Headmistress McGonagall was actually going to do anything just because he asked for it, in fact- he was pretty sure that he'd get one of her kind but condescending looks that always made him suspect she'll have a good laugh about it afterwards. "You'll go, right Harry? For me?" Before Harry could even open his mouth to say anything Ron banged his fist loudly on the table, causing quite a few of his house-mates, including his sister to jump,

"OK, Gin, let me break this down for you- and I'm only going to say it once so I really hope this will penetrate your thick skull and hopefully we'll never have to hear you whine about it again! No one, not a single eighth year is going back to their original dorms, and we don't care if you send Harry or the entire school to beg McGonagall, It. Ain't. Happening." The entire bulk of eighth year Gryffindors broke in applause, joined by a few others who were fed up with Ginny's nagging. Ginny looked around her, her face red with shame before she stood up slowly, fixed her brother with one last scorching glare and stormed out of the Great Hall. Harry sighed, he should probably go and talk to Ginny, but boy did he not feel like being in her presence right now… He carefully put his spoon down and turned to grab his bag when Ron grabbed his wrist, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Someone needs to talk to her." Ron patted Harry's hand,

"Trust me mate, I've known her my whole life, the last thing you want right now is to be anywhere near her. Percy lost his eyebrows once, trying to talk to her when she was in this state, it wasn't a pretty look!" Harry looked worried at the Great Hall's door, his left hand absently caressing his eyebrow, he kinda liked his eyebrows. "Just let her cool off, she'll come to you when she's ready." Lifting his head Ron suddenly realized that the attention of his entire house was focused on him, and he shrugged, "Don't get me wrong guys, but there is no way in hell I'm going back to sharing with you lot."

"Aww, but I was so hoping we'd renew our cuddling tradition." Seamus said with a pout on his lips, and Ron, who had just stuck a spoonful of porridge in his mouth, nearly gagged on it as he gaped at his Irish friend,

"What cuddling tradition?" He asked suspiciously, and Seamus gave him a bright smile,

"Oh, don't worry, you always fell asleep too soon to join in on the fun." Ron's face quickly drained of colour as the implications of Seamus' words hit him. His eyes became a little glassy as he was giving a valiant effort into _not_ thinking about his four roommates doing Merlin knows what after he's gone to sleep. Beside him Neville was having a hard time suppressing his giggles and Harry shook his head, it was amazing how Seamus could just say these sort of things and remain completely serious, his smile was so convincing in fact that even a few of the lower years were looking on curiously. Eventually it was Neville who took pity of their poor friend, and clapped Ron on the back to gain his attention,

"Ron! He's pulling your leg!" He cried out in laughter, not that he minded much what the others were thinking or if they were imagining the four of them cuddled together in one bed, after all, he was pretty secured in his sexuality and having Seamus as a friend taught Neville a lot about acceptance. Besides, he learned long ago that it was so much easier to just go with the flow of Seamus jokes, because if he cooperated he was far less likely to end up the butt of them, plus, seeing Ron's face like they were now always guaranteed a good laugh. Ron looked relieved for a few seconds before he narrowed his eyes again when Neville and Seamus began sending each other air kisses over the table. Boy, was he glad they had their separate rooms this year- just in case. Harry shook his head bemusedly as he returned to his own breakfast.

Throughout the day he tried his best to avoid Ginny, as most of the other students did, as she was still grumpy and easy to snap and Ron's words about lost eyebrows caused quite a few people to instinctively cover their eyebrows with their hand whenever they saw Ginny. Harry didn't much worry for the state of his eyebrows anymore, first of all, they were all magically trained, they could just as easily put on a glamour until they grew back if necessary. Second, he was pretty sure he could best her in her anger if push came to shove, because he knew first hand that she tended to lose concentration when angry which was bad for her fighting skills but pretty much what he was banking on now. No, his concern ran on a much deeper level,

Truth be told he was feeling quite guilty, not because he was enjoying 'special treatment' as Ginny claimed but because he no longer desired to be anywhere near her. Before he went into hiding, the summer before last, things between him and Ginny were damn near perfect- she cared about him and he about her, they got along great. They could just as easily sit and talk about everything and anything as best friends as they could make out, hot and heavy as lovers. Harry was sure he'd hit the jack-pot on that one, but then the war came, and they were separated for such long time in which not only did he not see her in person but he got almost no news of her either. It seemed the war had given him back a completely different Ginny and Harry wasn't at all sure he wanted her in this state and that was making him feel guilty, like he somehow betrayed her by not being by her side to protect her from everything. And then, to add to his burning shame there were those dreams... Harry clamped down hard on the thought, he was not going to think about this! Not now, and if possible not ever!

After the first night Harry was content to put it down to the bad combination of butterbeer and potions, or maybe it was inhaling all the alcoholic air in Seamus' and Draco's room that night, after all it was very possible that he got a slight alcohol poisoning simply from having Pansy breath on him. But that didn't explain why the dream came back the next night, and the night after. It wasn't always the same, of course, sometimes his mystery lover didn't touch him sexually at all, simply lay by his side and wrapped Harry in his arms, making him feel so safe and sated- something he hadn't felt in a very long time, possibly ever. It felt so good, having someone there for him, holding him and not wanting anything from him in return, and Harry wanted to feel this way forever, just to be held like that- this feeling lasted only until the moment he opened his eyes when it was buried under a torrent of shame and self-loathing. Because not only was he dream-cheating on Ginny, but he was doing it with a guy! A guy he still couldn't place though he knew for sure he was familiar with. He couldn't go and talk to any of his friends about this, it was far too embarrassing and so he had resorted to taking dreamless potion before bed, even though it left him feeling groggy and as if his head was full of fog the next morning.

He was really hoping that now they were back in school and cut off from the outside world things were going to calm down. Ginny will give her studies the attention they deserved and forget all about her maddened run for fame and they could go back to how they once were and he'd be able to put all this mess behind him, and hopefully stop those blasted dreams once and for all. So far it's been a struggle, but Harry refused to lose hope just yet.

Harry was mightily relieved there was a Hogsmeade weekend coming up, as was the rest of the castle. Headmistress McGonagall decided to push the first one sooner to let the students let off some steam and show everyone that things were indeed back to normal. Soon after breakfast the castle emptied considerably as everyone who was a third year or older gleefully left to explore the renewed village. Harry, however, was not amongst them- he was currently standing in the Gryffindor common room waiting for Ginny to finally finish getting ready. He looked around and tried to smile at the younger students, most of whom were giving him baleful glares at the fact that he could go to Hogsmeade and they couldn't. Harry sighed and walked to the bottom of the stairs leading to the girls' dorms,

"Ginny!" He practically bellowed, knowing this didn't gain him any popularity points with the younger years but the hell with it! It's been nearly two hours since the rest left, this was getting ridiculous!

"I'm coming!" came Ginny's angered voice and a moment later the girl herself sauntered down, again dressed to the nines and looking fabulous. Too bad this was all wasted on her boyfriend whose patience had ran too thin to care by now. Ginny looped her arm in Harry's, smiling at her house-mates as the two made their way to the portrait hole.

"What took you so long? Everyone's been gone hours ago." Harry chided her as they made their way to the entrance, intent of not wasting another second. "The carriages have already left, we're going to have to walk there." He added, his voice laced with a tiny bit of vindictive malice at seeing the height of Ginny's heels.

"Bullocks!" She cursed loudly, "There's no way I can get there in these..." Harry was about to say something rather vicious about how none of this would have happened if she only dressed faster when Ginny pulled out her wand and quickly transfigured her high heeled shoes into comfortable trainers, before adding a glamour on them to make them look like high heeled shoes again. Harry wanted to roll his eyes but she gave him a bright smile and pulled him into the path leading to the village, "Let's go!"

As soon as they reached the outskirts of Hogsmeade Ginny stopped to cancel the charms on her shoes and she was once again wearing the monster heels that made her practically tower over her boyfriend. They walked around for a bit, noting the streets were near deserted as all of the students were either in the Honeyduke or at the new WWW brunch. Harry was pulling towards the twins new shop, intent on saying hello when Ginny squealed and started to pull him the other way,

"Oh, Merlin, they have a Unique Boutique here!" Harry wasn't sure he even wanted to know what she was talking about but the grip she had on his arm left him with little choice but to be dragged along. They entered the shop and Harry felt the desperation creeping in- it was a clothes shop, of course it was a clothes shop... Ginny was already drifting towards the racks, running her hands on the colourful fabrics, leaving Harry to stand in the entryway like a log. Luckily he spotted Seamus and Parvati in the other side of the shop, trying on hats and laughing their heads off and he made his way towards them.

"Hey, it's Harry! Ahoy mate!" Parvati cried happily as she tipped her triangular pirate hat at him, Harry smiled and shook his head fondly. Seamus turned around then, wearing a 18th century musketeers hat, complete with a giant plume and a curly wig,

"What do you think?" He said with a wide smile, running the long plume between his fingers, but before Harry could venture an opinion Parvati brandished an imaginary sword,

"You royal scum, come and face me if you dare!" She cried and Seamus immediately drew his own imaginary sword to face her,

"Death to all thieving pirates!" He yelled and they started their fight. Harry watched with amusement as they sparred, jumping around like a couple of children, laughing and trying to stab each other with air, doing his best to avoid Seamus' flailing plume that seemed to be all over the place, and somehow in his face.

"Harry, look." Both Parvati and Seamus stopped their fight to watch and the looks on their faces caused Harry to turn in trepidation. Ginny was standing there, wearing something that could only be called a dress in the broadest sense of the word, since there was so little of it. Harry gulped and realized that this was the first time he'd seen this much of Ginny in one go and frankly- this was not the way he wanted to see her, ever, and especially not in front of other people! But what made it all worse was the fact that Ginny's 'dress' was yellow, golden in fact and that made her skin look yellow as well, and not in a good ivory sort of way but in a sickly, unhealthy kind of way. "What do you think?" She asked with a big smile and Harry opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, completely bereft of words. Instead he reached for the price tag dangling under Ginny's arm,

"5000 Galleons?" He cried out, barely aware that pretty much everyone in his vicinity turned to look at him, "Ginny, there's barely any fabric here, how could this cost 5000 bloody galleons?" Ginny snatched the tag from his hand, flipping her hair over her shoulder,

"Harry, please, this is a Faramazzo design, it's a perfectly reasonable price." Ginny said with a dismissive wave of her hand,

"Reasonable? For a fucking... _doily_?" Harry was just about ready to explode. There was no way he was letting Ginny walk out of this shop in this... this... thing!

"It's not a doily, you idiot!" Ginny hissed, pitching her face close to Harry's so that the whole shop wouldn't be privy to their argument, even though it was a little too late as the crowd around them was looking on curiously, "It's a perfectly good dress, and you're going to buy it for me, you owe me!" With that she spun on her heel and strode off back into the changing area, the onlookers scurrying to get out of her way. Harry gaped after her in shock. He knew the whole thing with the dorms was going to come and bite him in the arse but that was low! He turned to face Seamus and Parvati who were still staring at the place Ginny was a moment ago,

"I think I've been violated," Parvati moaned softly, her eyes big and round and frightened, "And not at all in a good way." Besides her Seamus nodded, pulling off his hat and wig and running a hand in his hair,

"I think I now know more about the female anatomy than I ever wanted to..." Harry squared his jaw in anger, those two were completely useless!

"Guys!" He snapped and the two turned their big eyes at him, "What the hell do I do? I can't let her buy this... tea towel!"

"No, no you can't..." Seamus conceded with a soft tone. Harry wanted to shake him, what sort of answer was that? He needed their help, possibly their muscle to struggle the offending garment off of Ginny, not these horrified expressions.

"I do believe it is time to let Divinia out." Parvati said thoughtfully and the two boys turned to look at her in shock,

"Who the hell is Divinia?" Harry asked, gazing around him as if expecting someone to pop out from the depth of the shelves. Seamus stepped forward and brushed imaginary dust from his shoulders before squaring them,

"Divinia is the little fashionista that lives in us all," He explained, his voice suddenly much more drawled and his eyes somewhat veiled. Harry gave Parvati a side-glance trying to discreetly find out if she's seen the deference in Seamus as well, but she only smiled in encouragement, "Of course, in some of us, she's buried very, _very_ deep." At that Parvati rolled her eyes,

"Yes, yes, lesbians have no fashion sense," She said with a bored tone and poked Seamus in his lower back, "Now go do your magic." Seamus straightened up, pulling himself to his full height and took a deep breath as he ceremoniously handed his hat and imaginary sword to Parvati before striding to where Ginny was standing, still wearing the offensive golden doily and checking out other dresses, no doubt with as little fabric as the last,

"Ginny, Darling!" Seamus simpered loudly, causing the girl in question to look up startled, "Are you trying to turn me straight with this?" He said and pointed meaningfully at the hem of her skirt that was indeed a mere inch away from doing just that. Ginny squeaked in indignation and tried to pull the dress down a little, not that it did much good because when she pulled the hem down, her breasts were nearly popping out. "Come along dear, let me save you from yourself. The Hepatitis C look is soooo last year..." Seamus said generously as he placed a hand over Ginny's shoulder, stirring her back towards the changing cubicles. Before he disappeared with a red faced Ginny, Seamus turned to Harry and Parvati,

"You two, be gone!" He commended regally, waving his hand at them, "Come back in 30 minutes, and bring me something good from the Honeyduke. You know what mama likes." He added with a little wink aimed at Parvati, who was biting her lip trying not to laugh and nodded. As soon as Seamus and Ginny were gone from their sight, Parvati let out a small chuckle, unable to contain it any longer and started to pull a stunned Harry out of the shop.

"Come on Harry, we should give Divinia some space to work." Harry was pulled out of his shock by Parvati's voice, and he turned to look at the smiling Indian girl next to him,

"Divinia? Is that a... thing?" He asked, from the way Seamus and Parvati were talking it was clear that this wasn't the first time this sort of thing happened, and Harry wondered how he'd missed it all those years. Parvati smiled and patted his shoulder,

"He doesn't let her out that often in school," She explained, "And hardly ever without make-up on." When Harry's eyes widened in shock she smiled softly, "Divinia is a drag personality, sort of like Shey's alter ego. You should see him do her in full drag, she is gorgeous!" Harry was about to comment about this, only he couldn't really find any words for it. How could Parvati be so casual about this? And why, when it came down to it, did Shey have a drag personality in the first place?! Before his confused brain could come up with any sort of answer he found himself enveloped in people, and the level of noise increased significantly as they entered the Honeyduke.

Parvati squeezed her way past, dragging Harry behind her towards the chocolate section. She knew that if she left Harry alone in this state he was most likely to stand there gaping like a landed fish and looking like a complete idiot, and while a part of her was kinda wishing she could see that she was a good enough friend to save him from himself.

"Here," She said as she shoved something into his hand. Harry looked down and saw a box full of chocolate pineapples. The store kept a variety of chocolate shaped fruits whose creamy center was the actual fruit flavoured. Harry never liked any of those. He looked up at Parvati in question,

"It's Shey's favourite, don't ask." She said and shrugged. The two continued through the shop, picking up things they actually liked on their way to the till. Harry's mind was still firmly on the clothes shop, hoping beyond hope that Seamus will indeed be successful in his mission of turning Ginny away from the offending dress because he knew he couldn't really resist her, not when he was feeling so fucking guilty lately already.

When they exited the Honeyduke, Parvati led the way to stand next to the Boutique Ginny was currently in, trying to spend as much of Harry's money over things that didn't even suit her. Parvati leaned on the fence of the garden surrounding the cottage next to the shop and pulled out her sack of candy, looking like she intended to stay there for quite a while. Harry opened his mouth to suggest they go back when she gave him a meaningful look from under her lashes and he had no choice but to join her.

"Are you sure it's safe to leave them on their own like that?" He asked, biting his lip with uncertainty. It wasn't that he didn't trust Seamus, it was that he wasn't at all sure how he felt about this... Divinia person...ality.

"Shey just saved you 5000 galleons on a dress that made your girlfriend look the embodiment of a venereal disease." Parvati intoned flatly before popping another Bertie Botts Bean in her mouth, her face contorting in a grimace before she spat it out and selected another.

"You don't think very highly of Ginny, do you?" Harry asked, looking at Parvati intently. He was never very close to her in the past, but she's always been a good friends with Seamus and in the past year with Hermione as well, especially after Ron started dating Lavender. He knew she was a lot smarter than she let on and all these years hanging around with Seamus had probably honed her tongue to sharpness, but he still felt a little weird having this discussion with her. Parvati shrugged, casting Harry a side glance,

"Not after I've read some of interviews she gave." Harry felt himself bristle, his old protectiveness towards Ginny flaring back, something that he hasn't felt since the war had ended,

"What do you mean? Ginny is a war hero, she's got a lot to be proud of." He snapped and Parvati tossed the bean she was holding back into the bag before she pushed herself off the fence to face Harry,

"You haven't read any of them, have you?" Harry clenched his jaw, looking at the ground,

"I... Don't really read the papers." He muttered softly, feeling a little foolish,

"Which is probably the reason you're still willing to date her..." Parvati muttered lowly, but still loud enough for Harry to hear, and bristle over, "Well then, you'd be very interested to know that apparently what your girlfriend dear is most proud of is being your little piece of arm candy." Parvati said coldly, her voice dripping with malice and contempt towards Ginny. Harry shrank a little at her words- it was true he hadn't read or listened to any of the interviews Ginny gave, but a part of him was kind of upset none of his friends bothered to tell him any of that before now. Parvati looked at the dejected hero in front of her and sighed, "Look, I don't mean to cause any problems..." She quieted and Harry looked up, noting the pensive expression on her face, "Wait, I do actually! Harry, that bitch is using you! You're much better off without her!" Harry was stunned, where the hell did that come from?

"Excuse me?" He asked through gritted teeth but Parvati wouldn't back down, now that the cat was out of the bag she was not about to let it back in, and boy did it feel good to finally say what was probably on everybody's minds out loud at last,

"She's trying to get ahead by using your name, and she doesn't care if you want this or not, which you clearly don't." She told Harry, her eyes shining with victory when she saw the flash of doubt in Harry's eyes, so he did think of it before... this was good, that meant he was ready to be broken, "You're letting her do that just because you're too scared of being alone." She finished with a small victorious smile. Harry lifted his head to catch that smile and his anger flared. He advanced at Parvati, hoping to make her cower,

"You don't know anything about my relationship with Ginny!" He hissed lowly, his voice dropping in his anger, but Parvati didn't bat an eyelash, a true Gryffindor, as she leaned forward, her nose nearly pressing into Harry's as she hissed back,

"I know more than you bloody think! And I ain't the only one who thinks that!" She retorted hotly, that took Harry by surprise and he stumbled back a pace or two,

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone thinks that, the others are just too afraid to hurt your 'delicate feelings' to tell you anything." Parvati's voice had lost its malice and she sounded tired all of a sudden. She hadn't meant to hurt Harry, not really, she just wanted him out of that bitch's claws- if only to have Seamus and Hermione stop harping about how she's been hurting their precious little Harry. She placed a soft hand on Harry's shoulder, feeling a little bad that all of his fighting spirit seemed to have gone and that he didn't even push her away, "Harry look, it's not too late, you can still walk out of this unscathed. It's not like you knocked her up or something right?" It had meant to be a joke, honestly, but the way Harry jumped up was quite alarming,

"What? No!" He cried, before he caught Parvati's wide eyed expression, "We... we never actually..." He trailed off uneasily, saying a lot more than he intended. A look of pure glee crossed Parvati's face,

"Really? Sweet!" Harry looked up startled,

"What?"

"Sorry, just a little bet with Hermione." Parvati shrugged and smiled uneasily, but damn that was good news. "Come on, let's head back, I'm pretty sure if Divinia couldn't talk that stu... I mean, _Ginny_ out of things by now she never will." Harry shook his head as they both turned back towards the shop,

"Everyone?" Parvati shrugged,

"Pretty much." Harry sighed,

"Great."

They entered the shop, Harry dreading what he might find in there, because the last time _he_ went clothes shopping he ended up with a pile that he was pretty sure will take him at least a year to go through. When they reached the till Ginny and Seamus were there, talking amicably, and to Harry's enormous relief there was only one item on the counter. When Ginny saw him she smiled and held up a dress- this one was dark blue, which suited her colours so much better, plus she was quite long, maybe even covering her knees. Harry was so relieved he was ready to pay any sort of price for that dress, and as luck would have it this one was off the sales rack which meant he only had to pay 200 galleons for it. Harry wisely decided to keep his mouth shut when he saw Ginny's happiness. He sent a grateful smile at Seamus who returned it with a half smile of his own, causing Harry to wonder if he was one of the people Parvati eluded to earlier. Probably, he and Parvati were close enough- he'd have to catch Seamus up for a chat alone, and soon. When the four of them exited the shop, Parvati rubbed her hands together, looking utterly satisfied with her day's work,

"How about we head down to the 'Three Broomsticks' for some butterbeer and food?" Harry and Seamus nodded in assent, when Ginny grabbed Harry's arm, giving the other girl a forced smile,

"Actually, it's been a while since Harry and I had time to ourselves," She said, as she started pulling Harry away from the others, "We're going over to Madame Puddifoot's for lunch." Before Harry had time to object she started walking as fast as her monster heels will allow her, leaving Harry no choice but to trail behind her. Seamus and Parvati exchanged a look before turning to the pub.

When they entered the pub they immediately spotted the table that hosted their friends. Hermione was sitting there with Neville, Draco, Pansy, who had her hands all over a very uncomfortable Michael and Justin. The two sat down and Seamus signaled the waitress to their table. As she walked over everyone scrambled for the menus to decided what they wanted before she made it to their table through the crowded pub. Seamus sighed, why did they all feel the need to wait for him to order? Each and every time?

When she got there she gave them all a beaming smile, turning a notch beamier when she saw Draco. The whole table was trying hard not to laugh. They each placed their order, mostly for sheperd's pie, as was the day's special, except Draco who opted for a glass of water with a twist of lemon,

"Really, Drake?" Seamus asked with a raised eyebrow, his nerves were already pulled taught after the ordeal with Ginny, he did not need to deal with his roommate body issues right now.

"I'm on a diet," Draco replied lowly, so that the waitress wouldn't hear him, while giving her a flirting smile from across the table,

"So all you're getting now is lemon water and then you're going to go back to our room and binge on chocolates all night?" Seamus didn't even bother to lower his voice, this stupid obsession with Draco's weight was starting to get on his nerves. It wasn't like Draco was ever fat, or even close to it- and the fact was that even if he did gain a couple of pounds he would not have any trouble pulling guys, but that was something Seamus learned the hard way was best left unsaid.

"I don't do that!" Draco snapped when he realized the whole table was watching, and Seamus gave him a Look, before turning to the waitress,

"Two sheperd's pies and a plate of chips please, and a couple of butterbeers. Thank you." The waitress gave him a little wink and left, while Draco glared sulkily at his friend,

"There's no way I'm eating chips!" Seamus seemed far from impressed,

"The chips are not for you." He snapped. Next to him Parvati lay a soft hand on his knee, she knew it must have hurt Seamus bad the way Harry brushed him so callously aside to run and do Ginny's bidding after Seamus put so much effort into saving him this morning. She truly hoped her little conversation with Harry had opened his eyes because if not dire measures will have to be taken and she wasn't at all sure her friends were ready to go there.


	6. Chapter 6

**MAKE UP YOUR MIND**

 **Chapter Six**

It's been three days since the Hogsmeade weekend and things seemed to return to their normal course, but Harry was still having trouble forgetting Parvati's words. Every time he thought about it, it made him angry all over again. How dare she meddle in his affairs? So yes, his relationship with Ginny wasn't at its best right now, and OK, he didn't really know how to fix this but still, that didn't give her the right to say anything!

Everyone thought Ginny was using him, that was what Parvati had said, everyone. As hard as it was for Harry to admit this, Parvati sort of had a point. Up until now he was ready to dismiss the whole thing as Ginny's run for fame, which he thought was a bit too much but still understandable, but after what had happened in the clothes shop in Hogsmeade things were a little different. Ginny was blackmailing him to spend a sum that was about trice the value of her own home on something she didn't even need. Even he, who had both his parents and Sirius' vaults overflowing with coins wouldn't just spend these sort of sums without thinking.

Harry spent the last couple of days watching his friends and trying to get into their heads, trying to figure out what their real agenda was. They were all bloody traitors if they thought they could hide this from him, bloody hypocrites! The lot of them!

After nearly a week of stewing in his own juices Harry decided he's had enough. He needed to confront his friends, especially Hermione and Seamus who claimed to be the closest to him and hopefully not let Ron know any of this because he probably wouldn't like to hear this about his baby sister, no matter how much they were fighting these days.

He thought about how to approach this, after all he couldn't simply walk over to any of them and start hurling accusations. He needed a plan. He decided to tackle Seamus first- he still had the bloody chocolate pineapples that Parvati made him buy for the Irish boy, so at least he had a plausible excuse to talk to him about the whole incident back in Hogsmeade. He caught up with Seamus outside the Great Hall, just as they were leaving dinner.

"Here," Harry said, as he pushed the box of chocolates into Seamus' hands, "These are for you." Seamus looked up with surprise, a happy smile blossoming on his face at the unexpected gift,

"Thanks! What are those for?" Harry shrugged, cursing himself for not thinking over this some more, and preparing his words better,

"It's to say thank you. For helping me, back in Hogsmeade." Something akin to guilt flashed through Seamus' eyes, causing Harry's anger to flare again, before the other boy smiled wide and happy again,

"You didn't have to get me anything. Honestly." He said, his voice sounding a little unsure. Harry crossed his arms over his chest,

"Shey, what do you really think of Ginny?" He blurted out, and Seamus looked up startled from his chocolates,

"W-what do you mean?" He asked uncertainly, trying to buy some time. He knew something was up, though neither Harry nor Parvati were saying much, he knew that the whole Hogsmeade incident was going to have quite dire consequences and apparently his borrowed time was over,

"Don't play games with me, Finnigan!" Harry snapped and Seamus' eyebrows rose in shock, "Just tell me the truth, do you think Ginny is using me?" Harry was advancing on his friend quite purposefully and Seamus found himself taking a step back, before he stopped himself and stood his ground,

"Harry," He started softly, trying to give himself time to think of the proper words to say, "What's gotten into you?"

"Stop it! Stop playing dumb with me! Parvati told me that you all think Ginny's using me and you're all too scared to tell me the truth!" Damn it! Seamus thought furiously, he was going to kill Parvati for this! This was such a bad idea, leaving the two of them on their own, but it wasn't like he could split himself in half to be able to keep an eye on both Parvati and Ginny. Seamus racked his hand through his hair, a tell-tall sign he was nervous and tried to think quickly how to salvage this situation before he did more damage.

"It's a little more complicated than that..." Seamus started slowly again, knowing he was only making Harry more upset with his slow voice and the evasion of the question but he needed to figure out what he was going to say lest he made things even worse.

"I think it's fairly simple, you did call my girlfriend Hepatitis after all." Harry said in a cold voice, his face grim and his arms still crossed over his chest, but this time he was holding to the edges of his shirt to avoid the temptation of reaching for his wand. He needed to hear Seamus say the words before he hexed him. Seamus grinned sheepishly, quite unaware of Harry's struggle for control,

"That... wasn't me..." He said, somewhat uneasy. He didn't really feel like explaining why Divinia could get away with so much more than he could but it was the truth- when he slipped into his drag personality he didn't even remember half the things that devil woman said.

"Seamus!" Harry was now stomping his foot, feeling just about ready to reach over and shake the other teen until he started talking,

"Fine!" Seamus threw his hands in the air, there was only one way this could end and frankly- Harry did deserve the truth, "Yes! I think Ginny is using you and what happened in Hogsmeade was just the tip of the iceberg and I'm really sorry but I'm not always going to be there to save you from her!" He cried, his face flushed and his hands waving about. Harry took a step back, he hadn't actually expected Seamus to confess, he was actually preparing himself for some more evasive answers- not hard and blunt truth, but it seemed that once the dam was open there was no way to shut it back up again, "She's changed Harry, the war had changed Ginny and not for the better, she's not the same person she used to be, the person you fell for and now you're staying with her out of duty, because you feel like you owe her something, and that's just wrong because she's making you miserable and you..." Seamus shook his head and smiled sadly, "You are just a glutton for punishment, you take on all the hurt and guilt of the war on yourself and wallow in it. You'll probably go on to marry Ginny just to ease your conscience because you think you deserve this!"

"Shut up!" Harry yelled, his hands pulling at his own hair, "Shut up!" He advanced on Seamus, his breathing harsh as he pointed his finger at his friend, "You don't know anything!" He hissed, completely pissed at the fact that Seamus was thinking this about him. If he'd been truly honest with himself Harry knew that what bothered him most was the fact that Seamus was right- he _was_ a glutton for punishment, he's always been, this was what Dumbledore was doing to him for years, cultivating this sense of responsibility for everything that was wrong with their world and it was so hard to let go, so hard not to take every death, every injury and injustice upon himself, and damn you Seamus for playing the guilt card like this. Turning on his heel Harry started running towards his common room, intent on leaving Seamus behind and hopefully regretting his words.

Seamus cursed loudly, this was not how things were meant to go! He was going to kill Parvati for this, how dare she open this can of worms like that? Without even giving him a proper warning in advance so that he could plan his strategy? He ran after Harry, calling his name and trying to get the quick seeker to stop and listen, but Harry was having none of that, and he even managed to slip away from Seamus on one of the revolving staircases. When Seamus finally caught up with him he found Harry standing in front of Lady De Morigen, his wand pulled out and threatening the portrait with incineration if she didn't open up, Seamus ran up to them, his breath coming out in short, painful gasps,

"Ebony toads, ebony toads!" He cried and the irate Lady shook her head and opened up the portrait. Seamus whispered a quick apology to her even as Harry marched forward and hurried after him. Harry strode into the common room, not caring one bit that everyone who was in it was looking at him oddly after they all heard him yell at their guardian portrait. He spotted Hermione sitting in the corner, as usual surrounded by piles of books and made his way over to her, slamming his hands on the table loudly and causing her to jump up with wide eyes,

"Call yourself a best friend!" He yelled at the oblivious girl and turned around, not even waiting for an answer and made his way towards the stairs that led to the boys dormitory, his whole posture rigid with rage which made quite a few people scurry out of his way. Hermione looked up at Seamus who was still panting- he rolled his eyes as he turned towards the stairs as well, followed closely by Hermione who was determined to get to the bottom of Harry's strange behaviour. They caught up with Harry in his room, both Hermione and Seamus burst through the open door, unarmed,

"Harry, what's going on, what..." The words died on Hermione's lips, as the two of them stopped right behind Harry whose gaze was fixed on the wall. On the wall in front of them was a crude graffiti, painted in red which read 'You should have lost, you scum!' Hermione and Seamus exchanged a look and the Irish boy quickly closed the door as Hermione gingerly reached and placed a soft hand on Harry's shoulder,

"Get out." Harry's voice was no longer raised in anger, it was low and baleful, and he didn't even turn to his friends,

"Harry, I really think we should tell a teacher about this..." Hermione, ever the voice of reason started saying, before Harry turned around and fixed them both with a scorching glare,

"You two will not say a word about this to anyone," He said, his voice still low and menacing, causing both Hermione and Seamus to take a step back and plaster themselves against the door. Harry lifted his wand and pointed it at them, "Do you understand?" Seamus nodded quickly, grabbing Hermione's arm with one hand and scrambling for the doorknob with the other, but Hermione apparently left all caution back in the common room because she took a step forward and reached for Harry again,

"Harry, please, you can't just ignore..."

"This is just some stupid prank!" He cut through her words, "Get the hell out of my room! Now!" Seamus nodded and grabbed Hermione's arm again as he slipped out of the door, dragging the protesting girl behind him. He stomped his way down the stairs, back into the common room and then up the opposite staircase leading to the girls dorms.

"Shey, we can't just..." Hermione started, her expression confused as she tried to make sense of what was going on with very limited resources. Seamus stopped midway up and turned to the brunette,

"What is wrong with you? You spent six bloody months in a tent with the guy, did you learn nothing?" He asked harshly, because really- either Hermione had a complete death wish or something snapped in her brain if she thought it was even a remotely good idea to approach Harry in this state. He burst into Parvati and Hermione's room, even though they were not originally assigned together the Patil twins had switched rooms that very first night. Parvati looked up from her book to see her best friend storming in looking enraged. She knew this was going to come, she was actually kind of surprised it took Harry this long to explode,

"What right do you think you have going and telling Harry that we think Ginny is using him?" Seamus cried, and behind him Hermione's eyes widened, finally putting together the picture.

"What?" She practically squeaked in her shock, "You told Harry that?" Parvati took her time, marking her place in the book before she rose from the bed to face the two of them,

"Yes I did." She said calmly, and the two teens before her gasped in disbelief, "And I'm not sorry I did. He deserved to know the truth." She looked between Hermione and Seamus who both seemed quite speechless at her confession, they probably expected her to deny the whole thing but she didn't really care anymore, it was high time this was all over, "I'm sick and tired of listening to the two of you bitching about how bad she is for your precious little Harry, while neither of you has the balls to actually talk to Harry and tell him the truth, you're both hypocrites and pathetic!" She finished as she brushed pass them and left the room, slamming the door in behind her. Hermione turned slowly to look at Seamus, who seemed completely out of fighting spirit, falling into a nearby chair and closing his eyes.

"She's right, you know." Seamus snorted without bothering to open his eyes,

"So? That still doesn't give her the right to go behind our backs like that." Hermione shrugged and took a seat on the bed, rubbing her face with her hand. That was also true, but it didn't really matter at the moment, because basically apart from shunning Parvati there wasn't much they could do.

"Do you really think that graffiti was a prank?" She asked, suddenly eager to change the subject. Seamus opened his eyes and looked at the girl, before he shook his head slowly,

"No, but there's nothing we can do about it right now." Hermione opened her mouth to argue, probably to insist they go to one of the teachers, even behind Harry's back, but Seamus raised his hand to stop her before she even started, "You're not going to talk to anyone about this. Not until Harry calms down and is willing to listen." He warned Hermione, who clenched her jaw in anger, clearly battling with herself about the subject, "If you go behind Harry's back, especially after today, he's never going to speak with you again." Hermione deflated, knowing that Seamus was right and that there was no way she could do something without causing irreparable damage to her relationship with Harry.

"Fine!" She cried, slumping back onto her bed with a huff. Seamus gave a small, grim smile before he rose from his seat and left the room, leaving Hermione to fume in quiet.

For the rest of the week things were quite tense around the common room. Harry refused talk to either Seamus, Hermione or Parvati and resorted to hang out with Neville, who looked far more guilty about spending time with Harry than he should have. For her part Hermione was ready to approach Harry the second she left him in his room that day but all her efforts were in vain as the dark haired teen simply refused to even look at her.

But not someone like Hermione was going to be deterred by Harry's attitude and a few days later she saw her opportunity to corner her best friend. She sauntered into the eighth years boys showers, smiling widely at Neville who gave a frightened squeak, though he was fully clothed and practically ran away from the showers. Hermione waved after him, a wide smirk stretching her lips before she leaned against the nearest sink to wait for Harry to finish his shower.

Harry leaned his head forward, letting the hot jet of water massage his nape. This felt so good- a hot shower was always one of his favorite ways to relax, it was one of the only luxuries he had growing up and he never ceased to cherish it. Eventually breathing became a little hard with all the steam and Harry shook his head to rid of the fogginess and shut the water off. Grabbing his towel from the peg he wrapped it around his waist. Humming softly to himself he stepped out of the shower stall,

"Hello Harry." Harry froze in shock at hearing the female voice in the midst of the all-male sanctuary, grabbing his towel and wrapping it more firmly around his waist he tried to side step Hermione but the girl in front of him was having none of that, "We need to talk."

"What the hell are you doing here?" He rasped and Hermione smiled sweetly at him, utterly enjoying Harry's discomfort,

"You've been avoiding me, I had to take drastic measures." Harry rolled his eyes and walked towards the bench where his clothes were, turning his back to Hermione. "I'm really sorry things turned out the way they did, but in a way I'm glad it happened." Harry snorted, the sound muffled by the shirt he was pulling over his head, "We all care about you, Harry, and we want to see you happy and to tell you the truth, I don't think you've been very happy lately."

"What the hell do you know about how I feel?" Harry grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest, he knew that if there was one person in the castle who actually did know how he felt and could read him like an open book it was Hermione. Hermione sighed, this was going to be a lot harder if Harry wasn't going to cooperate. Seeing his friend hesitating Harry shook his head and turned his back again, quickly donning his underwear and jeans, feeling a little awkward about having to do that under his towel since he could practically feel Hermione's eyes boring into his back, and frankly- best friend or not, their relationship never went _there_.

"Fancy meeting you here, Granger." Hermione turned her eyes towards the door to see Draco Malfoy standing there in all his naked glory, a towel slung casually over his shoulder. She blinked twice before catching herself,

"Oh, you know me, can't resist the sausage party you guys got going here." She smirked at the blond and folded her arms again, "I bet all the boys are mighty glad you like taking it rather than giving right?" She added, pointing at Draco's genitalia with her chin, because damn. Harry, who wasn't really listening to what the other two were talking about chose that moment to turn, his eyes widening in shock at seeing the naked man- fuck... he never would have guessed, not in a million years, but Malfoy was hung! Like a bloody horse!

"Jesus!" He cried, snapping his eyes shut (not that it did much good, the image of Malfoy's cock seemed to have been burned into his retinas by now), "Cover yourself up, man!" Draco let out a soft snort, thoroughly enjoying the discomfort he was causing the poor savior before he gave Hermione- who wasn't in the least bit embarrassed by his body, a little wink as he made his way to the showers area, fully aware she was checking out his arse.

"He's gone." Hermione informed poor Harry, and he gingerly opened one eye to make sure she wasn't bluffing. Seeing the coast was clear he immediately grabbed Hermione's elbow and ushered her out of the showers. Slumping on his bed Harry rubbed his eyes furiously, trying to rid himself of the image of the naked Draco Malfoy,

"I survived eighteen bloody years without seeing Malfoy naked once, I could have happily gone twenty more." He bemoaned softly, causing Hermione to giggle,

"Oh, it wasn't that bad, he's got a pretty decent..." Harry clapped his hands over his ears dramatically,

"Shut up!" At that Hermione completely cracked, laughing gaily. Harry tried to maintain his righteous facade but the truth was, he had missed Hermione dearly and hearing her laughing so freely like that was warming his heart. "I'm sorry I yelled at you." Hermione gave her friend a bright smile and came to sit down next to him on the bed, the last couple of days were not easy for her. She was so used to having Harry stuck to her side it sometimes felt like they were meshed together into one person- at least that what it looked like to a lot of their peers. Having Harry blatantly ignoring her was a lot harder than she ever thought.

"It's OK, I'm sorry too- we should have handled the whole thing a whole lot better than we did," She confessed lowly and Harry nodded slowly.

"You really think Ginny is bad for me?" He asked softly, knowing what the answer will be but some part of him needed to hear this over and over again just to make sure it was true. The Hogsmeade weekend made him think, but even though deep down he knew his friends were right Harry wasn't ready to give his relationship with Ginny up, not just yet, but he was starting to realize he wasn't all that willing to fight for it either,

"I think Ginny isn't well." Harry looked up in surprise, from all the things Hermione could have said this was not what he had expected.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know what happened to her during the war but I think she's been very traumatized and that's why she's been acting so oddly." Harry blinked a few times, trying to process this. Ginny _was_ acting very oddly, and completely out of character for her and at first he was ready to chalk it down to wanting to be famous, after all she was a war hero but lately it seemed too much, even for her. "Have you read any of the interviews she gave?" Harry shook his head, he had meant to, especially after Parvati hinted to what was in them but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. If what Ginny's been saying was going to upset him as much as he suspected he rather stay ignorant and oblivious to them.

"Well, I have and to me it seems like a pretty big alarm bell. But I can't just go and tell Mr. and Mrs. Weasley that I think their daughter is sick." Hermione shrugged, as much as muggle forwards as the Weasleys were they were still pure blooded wizards and telling them that Ginny was developing a mental illness was not going to fly well with them.

"Everyone seems to be suffering from trauma these days..." Harry sighed, remembering Seamus' words about the doctors diagnosing everyone with AWAS. Hermione nodded sadly,

"Yes, well that is only to be expected when you base your entire war effort on children who have barely finished puberty." She said, her tone a little bitter. Sometimes, when she truly stopped to think about what she's been through in the last months- hell, the last seven years it made her so angry to think that Dumbledore let them do half the things they did, the things he made Harry do and all in the name of some stupid prophecy made by some quack! No wonder they were all screwed seven ways to Sunday by the end of it. Harry sighed and pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them. Hermione was right, of course, but he truly hated thinking about that, because if he did it made him feel all the more stupid and manipulated- unable to say no to Dumbledore.

"You seemed to have escaped the curse of trauma." He said instead, trying to lighten up the atmosphere somewhat. Hermione gave him a side glance and shook her head slowly,

"No, I didn't." Harry blinked at his friend, what the hell was she saying, Hermione was perfectly fine! "I had nightmares, horrible ones, when I went to Australia. I couldn't sleep and my parents were really scared for me." Hermione told her friend, shrugging helplessly. The reason she chose to go to Australia straight after the war was partly because she missed her parents like hell but mostly because she needed to put some distance between her and what had happened back home. If she could have she'd have taken Harry with her, knowing that they needed each other to heal, but that wasn't a possibility and as a result they each had to deal with their own manifestation of PTSD alone. "Eventually we found a healer in Melbourne who specializes in memories who took away my memories of the war."

"What?" Harry was quite shocked, he didn't know people did that sort of thing- surely removing memories this way was way too dangerous! Hermione could have ended up with no memories at all or something equally bad.

"He was very good, and I still keep those memories with me but at least I don't have to relive it every night. It was starting to effect my studying." Harry bit his lip at that, well, if it was effecting Hermione's studies...

"Maybe I should do that too, Merlin knows there are things I don't want to remember..." Hermione smiled softly,

"It's not that simple you know, and besides, you don't wake up screaming anymore, or scared to go to sleep because of what you might dream, right?" Harry opened his mouth to contradict her when he realized the only thing keeping him up at night these days were erotic dreams about a certain boy he couldn't place that were driving him insane, but in a completely different way than what Hermione's been talking about, so he snapped his jaw shut and tried to smile at his best friend.

"No, I just have to chug down industrial amounts of potions every day..." Hermione patted his knee with affection, of course Harry was going to overreact to the potions thing,

"And they do their job, so who cares." She concluded firmly. Harry shrugged, yes the potions worked, and yes they were making his life a whole lot better but sometimes it still irked him that he couldn't handle with the anxiety on his own and was forced to take the damn potions in the first place. Luckily he was feeling like that less and less. "So..." Hermione said softly, "Are we good?" Harry pretended to think about it and she elbowed him, making him pull away from her with a chuckle,

"Yes, we're good." He finally admitted, smiling at Hermione. She returned the smile ten fold and grabbed him in an enthusiastic hug. Harry winced a little, trying not to show it, he loved Hermione dearly but she was a terrible hugger- she squeezed too hard and always left him feeling like he should check for fractured ribs. When they pulled back Hermione sighed,

"You should really talk to Shey, he's pretty hurt." Harry wanted to roll his eyes, he knew he needed to apologize to Seamus, he didn't need constant reminder of that.

"What, not Parvati?" Hermione actually snorted at that,

"Hell no, she needs to suffer!" She declared and Harry couldn't stop his laughter.

Saying he was going to talk to Seamus was one thing, actually bringing himself to do it was another altogether Harry realized. It wasn't that he didn't miss the company of his new best male friend or that he didn't want them to get back to the way things were, it was just that swallowing his pride and actually going to apologize was hard, and Seamus was trying to give him all the space he needed to work things out and Harry realized he wasn't going to be accosted in the showers, or anywhere else by the Irish boy. Which meant he'd have to do the accosting himself.

His opportunity came as he caught Seamus on the way to History of Magic on Wednesday. Harry was squeezing his way through the students until he reached Seamus, who was flipping through a stack of parchments, trying to find the correct homework.

"Hey, can we talk?" Seamus turned to see Harry falling in step next to him. Hermione had told him she had a chat with Harry and everything should be OK now, but Seamus wanted to hear the words out of Harry's mouth before he could believe them,

"Are you going to try burn any portraits this time?" He asked with a smile, and Harry actually rolled his eyes,

"That's funny." He said dryly, "No, I wanted to say that I was sorry and that I was upset and I shouldn't have taken it out on you." He really meant every word, but somehow Harry felt like his apology came a little mechanically, like he was reciting it, and apparently Seamus heard it too,

"Did Hermione threatened you with bodily harm to come and say that to me?" Harry gave his friend a scorching glare,

"Ok, I'm done." He said and turned to leave, when Seamus, who couldn't hold his laughter, caught his arm,

"No, no, wait!" He cried, and Harry couldn't stop the victorious smile that was spreading on his lips, "I promise I'll be good. Thank you, for apologizing I mean." Harry nodded his head regally to indicate Seamus was forgiven, "I'm really sorry things got out of hand like that." Harry sighed,

"It's alright, I guess. You guys are just watching out for me." Seamus smiled softly and Harry realized that it was true, his friends were only looking out for him, only they tended to do that really badly. "By the way, thank you for saving me in that shop." Once again Seamus' cheeks flushed and he ran his hand in his hair,

"Oh, that wasn't really me..." Harry wanted to roll his eyes again, Seamus kept saying it wasn't him but no one seemed to want to explain the whole drag personality thing to him, it was very vexing,

"I'm gonna go ahead and assume you do not have multiple personalities." He said dryly, as Seamus cheeks turned a tad rosier. It was a good look on him, Harry decided, especially since it was usually him who ended up all red whenever they were talking,

"It's not multiple personalities, it's a drag personality," Seamus said, as if that was any sort of explanation, "It's a little hard to explain," He confessed, feeling like ten kinds of idiot, but he wasn't sure this was the right time or place to explain how and why he obtained a drag personality, shoving the parchments back in his bag he pulled out the box of chocolates Harry had given him the other day, "Wanna chocolate?"

"Don't try and change the subject by offering me your icky chocolates!" Harry scolded his friend, not entirely playfully either, he knew he was not going to get any explanation about Seamus' drag personality yet again,

"They're not icky!" Seamus actually pouted, as if Harry had personally offended him and his chocolates.

"They look like they're filled with snot." Harry deadpanned. Maybe if Seamus had gone for something other than pineapple it would have been less gross... probably not...

"You are such a chocolate snob!" Seamus cried, though his eyes were dancing with mirth. Harry thought that was a little excessive, after all even after all this time his favorite sweet was still chocolate frogs, "Anyway, you eat Bartie Botts' Beans!"

"Yeah, but not the snot ones, or the ear wax!" Seamus shrugged,

"The blood ones taste surprisingly nice, though." He said thoughtfully and Harry nodded,

"Yes, I know, it's seriously creeping me out every time I eat them." Seamus let out a soft snort of assent as they walked into the classroom.

The next morning Harry was sitting at breakfast, feeling pretty good about the world. Although nothing has changed in regards to his relationship with Ginny, he felt that things could only get better from there on. His friends were back in his corner, hopefully less meddling than before and even Ginny seemed to mellow out a little since Ron yelled at her.

He was just nibbling on his third piece of bacon, half listening to Hermione and Neville discussing Herbology when the noise of dozens of owls swooping into the Great Hall filled the air. Harry wasn't particularly interested in them as he never actually got any mail, so he was quite surprised to see one of the school owls land in front of his plate. Harry looked suspiciously left and right to see if the owl might have gotten the wrong person but the bird stuck out its leg with determination and eventually Harry decided to take the letter. If it did turned out to be a mistake he could always pass the letter along.

Seamus lifted his head from the missive he got from his mother, as usual rambling about the comings and goings of the Finnigan clan when he saw Harry untie a letter from the leg of an owl. He tried to catch Hermione's eye but the girl was too engrossed in what was shaping up to be a heated argument with Neville to notice anything. He watched as Harry opened the letter and the way his jaw tightened and his nostrils flared. Without a word Harry got up and grabbed his bag, leaving the Hall with an angry stride.

Seamus cursed under his breath as he too grabbed his bag and hurried after the dark haired teen. He managed to catch Harry as he was waiting for the staircase that will lead him to the second floor to come round,

"Harry, wait!" He cried, and Harry turned, the frown on his face fading a little, "Bad news?"

"It's nothing." Harry replied with a shrug, hoping his bored tone will satisfy his friend, but of course he should have known better,

"Nothing that made you leave in the middle of breakfast? You didn't even finish your second cup of tea." Harry crossed his arms over his chest,

"Are you following me?" He asked suspiciously, but Seamus waved him off,

"You've been having the same breakfast practically since we started here." He said flippantly, as if that was any excuse for knowing such a thing,

"I have?" Harry thought about what sort of breakfast he was having most days, was he really that predictable?

"Stop stalling!" Seamus said firmly, refusing to let Harry change the subject, "What was that owl?" Harry sighed, knowing that if he didn't show the letter to Seamus he'd probably go and tell Hermione, or worse, a professor. After the incident with the graffiti in his room Harry knew that he wasn't likely to get a second chance at avoiding- even if he blew his top off again,

"Fine! Here!" He cried and thrust the letter into Seamus' hands. The Irish boy quickly skimmed the words and looked up at Harry, his eyes wide,

"Harry..." He started carefully, but Harry waved him off, grabbing the letter from his hands,

"Don't! It's nothing."

"How can you say that?" Seamus cried, "These are very specific threats, they even name the curses they want to use on you."

"Not everyone is happy that the war ended the way it did, and some of that anger is apparently directed at me." Harry said calmly, surprising even himself at how mature and collected he sounded, considering he felt pretty rattled inside,

"How many of these have you gotten?" Harry shrugged,

"This is the first, but it's OK, I'll just burn this." Seamus looked gravely at his friend,

"No, Harry, it's not OK at all." He said softly, "You shouldn't be getting any mail, let alone anonymous one." Harry felt the cold dread settling in his stomach, seeing Seamus this serious was never a good sign,

"What do you mean?"

"Headmistress McGonagall cast a spell so that you'd only get mail from people on the approved list you gave at the hospital. That's why you've only been getting Molly Weasley's care packages. All your mail is diverted to the Ministry or something."

"Really?" Harry was truly taken aback by that. How come this was open knowledge to everyone but him? It was his mail after all...

"You didn't really think Mrs. Weasley was the only one remembering you're alive, did you?" Seamus said with a soft chuckle, seeing how Harry's face darkened when he mentioned McGonagall's spell. "If you'd have gotten all the mail addressed to you, you'd be under at least eight feet of parchment every morning..." Harry ran his hand over his face, fuck, he never actually spared a thought to any of this, he was just enjoying the peace and quiet offered by not having any mail come to him.

"I just figured since everyone I actually care about is already here..." He said softly, almost to himself.

"Your naiveté is adorable," Seamus said fondly, seeing the small pout that forming on Harry's lips, "But this is serious! This guy, or girl," He added in afterthought, "Has managed to get this around the wards!" Harry sighed, this new information was freaking him out, someone was after him again and this time they were being clever about it! But it was still just a minor incident, and frankly- he's been through a lot worse before, if this will stay in the area of threats on walls and parchments he could handle this. He wasn't about to let some idiot with a grudge ruin his perfect year!

"Look, it's nothing," He said, holding his hand up when Seamus opened his mouth, "Please don't make a fuss over this, I just want a quiet year." Seamus bit his lip, trying to hold the words that were on his tongue at bay. What he really wanted to do now was grab Harry and shake him till he managed to get some sense into him. But this was Harry Potter and apparently nothing was ever going to be normal around him and as a friend Seamus needed to trust that Harry knew what he was doing.

"Argh! Fine!" He finally conceded, letting the air out of lungs and the tension out of his body. Harry gave him a grateful smile and Seamus gritted his teeth, knowing that he'd lost- he'll do anything for Harry and they both knew it. "But you have to promise me you won't burn this."

"Why?" Seamus sighed, how is it possible that even after hanging with Hermione for so long Harry was still so thick?

"Because," He explained slowly, trying not to sound as condescending as he felt, "When this person is caught, there will be evidence against him,"

"Or her," Harry supplied helpfully, and Seamus nodded absently,

"Right. And you have to promise me that if you'll get another one of these you'll tell a teacher about it!" Harry rolled his eyes, his whole body vibrating with wanting to throw a tantrum like a four years old. This was not fair, he had the power in his corner, how the hell did this turn around on him so fast?

"No..."

"Please, promise me," Seamus was practically begging at this point, he'd keep Harry's secret safe, if that what Harry wanted but he was not going to make light of this and if Harry refused to take this higher than Seamus will have no choice but to tell on him. "You can go to Professor Lupin, he's not going to get mad at you. Please, please promise me."

"Ok, fine!" Harry knew when he was beaten. Besides, if Seamus was so worried about this maybe there was a possibility, slight as it may be, that there was danger here. For now he could gloss over this but Seamus was right, if things escalated he'd go to see Remus.

"Thank you." Seamus said earnestly, feeling a whole lot better now that he got Harry to at least acknowledge this may not be a prank.

"I still think you're overreacting." Harry said stubbornly and Seamus wanted to roll his eyes. Instead he took a deep breath and put his arm around Harry, leading him towards their transfiguration class,

"I rather overreact to nothing then under-react to something."

 **~~o0o o0o o0o~~**

 **A/N:** My friend came back from the USA and brought the muggle version of 'Bertie Botts', i.e. Jelly Belly Halloween edition. The toothpaste tasted just like... toothpaste. The baby wipes tasted like soap, but weren't terrible. The canned dog food broke me... I had to spit it out... I don't even dare try the barf or bugger ones...


End file.
